#but also all of the characters were just a touch unhinged in such a fun way

[iguessitsjustme]

Not BL but I just gotta say how much I love that Tae Sung is the reason the time shenanigans stopped. I also love that without his memores he really just saw Im Sol as a friend and I ADORED their friendship. It was so wholesome. But the fact that he was the one to close the loop so to speak? And then they thanks him for it? I could cry. I wish I could articulate this better but I’m still processing I love Tae Sung so much and his story is just so good for how little he was actually in the show.

[itgetsdark-x]

Something In Your Mouth

Summary: what’s a little night out if not for a bit of teasing fun with your dad’s best-friend?

Warnings: 18+ minors dni, mentions of alcohol, age gap (Joel’s age unspecified), oral (m receiving), unprotected p in v (do better!!), edging, orgasm denial, forced orgasm (kinda), use of good girl etc, mild humiliation / degrading. idk i feel a lil unhinged with this one besties.

Characters: dbf!joel miller x (f) reader

Word Count: 5.3k

You pressed your glossy lips together to ensure that the hot pink covered every area of your pout and you smiled at your friend in the reflection of your bedroom mirror. 

“Girl, I’m telling you… Tonight is the night that I finally fuck Joel Miller.” You smirked, taking the bottle from your friend, Sasha’s hands and taking a long swig of the warming liquor.

“Ha! Yeah right… Are we on about the same Joel Miller here? Your dad’s friend, the single father himself and what’s that? Oh yeah, he’s ancient, old enough to be your own dad! He won’t touch you, jailbait, give up.” She laughed again as your flipped her off.

“Sash, I am in my mid-twenties, closer to thirty than I am twenty. Not to mention, I’m hot okay?! There are worse women Joel could sleep with. I’m just saying… I think it’s a good idea. I just get big dick energy from him y’know? I mean, have you seen his hands?! His fingers. I actually feel like if I don’t have him soon, I’m gonna go legally insane.” You huffed.

Sasha shook her head as you stood from your bed to get changed. You flung your comfy t-shirt and shorts into your friend’s direction and grabbed the outfit you had hung on your door. Tonight’s attire was an ensemble of a black leather skirt, hot pink tank top and your trusty platform Doc Marten boots.

“Be fucking real right now, that is not your underwear of choice for the evening!” Sasha all but screeched as she caught a glimpse of your undergarments as you began changing your outfit.

“What?!” You asked with feign innocence.

“You’re wearing a hot pink thong with matching bra. Please tell me this is not for Miller.” She sighed with exasperation, pinching at the bridge of her nose.

“Maybe it is… but hey, if Joel doesn’t want some tonight I’m sure some other lucky guy will appreciate the efforts I have gone to.” You shrugged, winking at your friend. “Now, how ‘bout you quit your judging and get changed so we can get to the bar! The girls are meeting us there.”

Sasha groaned with effort as she stood and joined you in getting changed.

———

The bar was busy, you were meeting your friends there to celebrate your upcoming birthday which meant your father was going to be there and in turn, so was Joel. You weren’t a complete idiot, you knew that trying to get with Joel was a huge risk for you both; if your father ever found out, you would most likely be forbidden to ever leave your apartment ever again and well, you couldn’t even imagine what your dad would do to Joel.

Which also meant you had to be calculated with how you went about it; no blatant flirting or teasing in front of your dad, you had to play your cards right, keep them close to your chest.

As soon as you and Sasha arrived into the dimly lit bar, your friends herded over to you and enveloped you in a big hug. You squealed with delight and greeted them all individually before your dad walked over, with the older Miller in tow close behind.

“There’s my princess, happy early birthday, sweetheart.” Your dad beamed, hugging you and kissing your temple.

“Thanks dad, and thanks for actually showing up! I know hanging out with us girls isn’t at the top of your Friday night agenda. Same for you Joel, thanks for coming.” You smiled bashfully at him before he closed the space between you both and gave you a quick squeeze.

Your head span and you could feel your heart threatening to beat right out of your chest, his heady cologne drowning your senses and driving you mad. It was an immediate effect and you couldn’t stop the way your core throbbed at the contact.

“Gotcha a drink darlin’. Happy early birthday.” He flashed a smile in your direction and gave you a glass filled with amber-coloured liquid. “Yes, it’s our favourite. Southern Comfort and lemonade.”

You grinned at him and took a swig of the drink gratefully, just as you turned to talk to your father again, you were almost certain you could feel Joel’s eyes raking over your body with hunger.

———

As the night wore on, the drinks flowed and the laughter grew rowdier and louder as the music in the bar was turned up. You were dancing with a couple of your friends, every now and then your eyes would catch Joel’s; he sat at the bar talking to your dad and nursing his whiskey.

“Sash, did you see the way he keeps looking at me? And earlier? Please tell me you saw that!” You whined.

“Ugh. God. I hate to feed your delusions but I did see it and I see it now. Even with your back turned, he’s watching you. Fuckin’ weird and intense, it’s like a predator with his prey. Waiting to strike.” She huffed, voice just loud enough for you to catch over the pop music playing.

“Okay… But why is that hot as fuck?” You laughed, throwing your head back as your danced. “I just need my dad to clear off, I love him but I can’t hit on his friend when he right there. That would be weird.”

You carried on dancing, with your friends and even with a couple of men when they tried it; you couldn’t help but notice the way Joel’s stare seemed to intensify when any man came near you, it made you smile to know that he was watching you.

One particular man caught your attention, he was similar to you in age, as far as you assumed and he was handsome, definitely easy on the eyes but nowhere near anywhere as good as Joel. He smirked at you from the bar and closed the distance between you until his hand was on your hip and he was dancing with you. You smiled sweetly at him, peering up at him through your lashes as you brought your thumb up to your glossy lips to suck on it seductively. You flashed a glance over to Joel who looked like he was ready to kill. 

Bingo. You thought to yourself and danced with the handsome male in front of you, the music boomed and you swayed your hips against him, you span yourself around so you could press your ass to his crotch and you smirked over at Joel once again who was now alone at the bar. Your fingers clutched your glass as you wrapped your lips around the thin, red straw and sucked up the cool drink. 

Joel quirked a brow at you, with a look that you couldn’t quite place, it seemed to settle somewhere between lust and utter disdain for you. You gave him a little wave and turned back to face the man you were dancing with, you looped your arms loosely around his neck and continued to dance along to the loud music. 

The nameless man leant down and whispered into your ear, the music distorted his voice but he said something about leaving with him which caused you to giggle. You got up onto your tiptoes to whisper back into his ear but felt a foreign hand pressed against the small of your back. The guy you were just dancing with backed away with his hands held up in innocence. 

“Hey!” You turned around with a deep frown. “Oh… hey, Joel.” You smiled.

“Your daddy left a little while ago, he saw you dancing and didn’t want to… disturb since you seemed busy…” He scoffed. 

“Well I was a lil busy, and now he’s gone. Whatcha want?” You huffed. 

“Don’t fuck around, little girl. We both know what you’re playin’ at.” 

“What?!” You asked with feigned innocence.

“Darlin’” he warned lowly in your ear, his voice sending shivers through you. “You’re out here, shakin’ your ass for everyone.”

“And? Last time I checked, I’m single, of age and having a bit of fun. Is that not allowed, Mr Miller? Not even on my birthday?” You asked sweetly, batting your eyelashes at him. 

Joel scoffed and rolled his eyes at you, this fake-innocence crap wasn’t getting anywhere with him and he knew you were doing it to get a reaction from him. 

“You’re being a little tease, darlin’ and I think you know it.” He growled, his voice low in your ear. 

You swallowed roughly, even with the drinks you had, your mouth suddenly felt impossibly dry with nerves. You shook your head to Joel and he just chuckled. 

“No, no… You know what you’re doing, I know you’ve been trying to get my attention all night and well, congrats. You’ve got my attention. So what now? What do you want, hm?” He asked, leaning back to gauge your reaction. 

“I — I, I want -“ You stumbled over your words dumbly, without a coherent sentence forming. 

“Hm?” He hummed, he took your hand and trailed it down his hard chest, down his stomach and let it graze across his crotch. 

Even with barely touching him, you could feel the hard length of his cock through the rough material of his worn jeans. You pushed your legs together in the vain hope of staving off the throbbing between them, you could feel your panties get slick as you imagined sinking to your knees and sucking Joel. 

“Funny, you seemed to be playing the big girl earlier, princess. Dancing with anyone, swinging your ass and hips for them. What’s the matter? Cat gotcha tongue now?” He smirked, his voice a soft coo in your ear. 

“I want you to fuck me.” You blurted out, unceremoniously and immediately, your cheeks burned with embarrassment. “I mean, I uh — ignore me. I’m gonna go find my friends.” You muttered. 

Joel shook his head and held onto your elbow roughly. “Come home with me then, darlin’. My truck is parked out back.”

“You’ve been drinking, I’ve had some drinks. One, I don’t wanna die in your rust-bucket truck and two, this is stupid. I’m being stupid.” You spoke quickly. 

“Firstly, I’m gonna ignore you just called my truck a rust-bucket, that’s a whole other conversation and two, I’ve had two drinks, perfectly fine to drive. And as long as you’re sober enough to consent, and you do wanna do this. I think it’s a wonderful idea. Maybe just don’t tell your daddy.” He laughed. 

You nodded dumbly, words failing you once again and let yourself be led out of the bar by Joel; you briefly shot a look behind you and for a second, you caught eyes with Sasha who just smirked at you as you left. 

—

Joel opened the truck door for you to climb in, you grabbed the handle on the side and hauled yourself in; knowing your skirt would rise and give Joel a quick glimpse of your skimpy fabric. 

Joel had to all but bite back a groan as he saw the flash hot pink, the curve of your ass just enveloping the lace as you sat down. 

“Fucking hell.” He cursed as he closed the door to his truck and went to the drivers side. “You really are a naughty little tease, aren’t you?” He laughed. 

You shrugged at him with a sheepish smile; in truth you weren’t always this bad but tonight it got you exactly what you wanted and you couldn’t bring yourself to care. 

Joel started his truck and within seconds of driving down the road, you reached your hand across the bench to palm at his cock; your delicate fingers wrapped around his half hard length through his jeans and you couldn’t help but shiver in anticipation. 

He felt thick, even when only half hard and your mouth watered at the thought of his thick cock hitting the back of your throat. 

“Impatient much?” Joel laughed, flashing a quick smirk in your direction. 

“I need to taste you, like, immediately.” You hummed, you knew it sounded cringey and cliche but you needed it more than you could comprehend. 

“Maybe let’s wait until we are back at mine — fuck —.” Joel cursed as your fingers quickly undid his jeans and dipped into the waistband of his boxers, albeit a little awkwardly. 

“I’m sat here, and I’m wet. I’m talking, on the verge of dripping onto my thighs. I want you. In a way I’ve never wanted a man before so… how about you let me get you warmed up so when we get back to yours, you can have your way with me.” You reasoned, your voice blunt. 

Joel couldn’t argue with that reasoning so he gently lifted his ass off the seat to allow you easier access to pull his thick cock out from his boxers. Your fingers expertly wrapped around his length and you marvelled at the fact your finger tips barely met. You stroked his shaft a few times as you felt him fully harden under your touch. 

You couldn’t help but giggle; it was immature and girlish but in this moment, you felt giddy. You awkwardly repositioned yourself so you could duck your head down and suck the tip of his cock into your wet mouth. 

Joel’s fingers tensed on his steering wheel, you could hear the squeak of the leather protest under his grasp as you wrapped your mouth around the male fully and sank your head down, enveloping him further. 

You kept a hand wrapped around the base of his cock and bobbed your head slowly, a soft moan being muffled by the fullness in your mouth. 

Above you, Joel groaned deeply as your tongue swirled around the tip and you grazed your teeth gently against his frenulum. 

“Oh fuck!” Joel cursed out, one hand coming down to grip into your hair tightly; he couldn’t help the way his hand pushed your head down further. “You look so good with my cock in your mouth. Fuck.” He praised, brushing some hair away so he could catch a better glimpse of the sight below him. 

You hummed in appreciation as you bobbed your head, your hand moving in perfect synchronicity with your skilled mouth. You removed Joel’s cock with a loud pop and you smirked at the male. You moved to kiss at his neck and your teeth grazed over his ear. 

“Tastes better than any sucker I’ve ever had.” You purred, your voice low and sultry. 

“You’re trouble.” Joel stated with a soft groan as your lips continued to kiss down his neck and your head travelled down south once more. “But you look so much cuter with something in your mouth, that’s its princess.” He cooed as your mouth sank around his cock once more. 

The drive back to Joel’s was a short one, even if he did contemplate driving around the block a couple more times just so he could feel your mouth around him for longer. 

Joel pulled into his drive, by this point you were sat up right and running a thumb along your bottom lip to tidy up your lip gloss. Joel tucked himself back into his jeans haphazardly before turning off the ignition to his truck. 

“Inside, quickly. I don’t need the neighbours seeing me bringing you home. You know how rumours spread ‘round here.” He mumbled and it was true, most people knew Joel and they in turn, knew your father. You could almost heard the whispers that would spread around this part of town if they caught wind of what you were doing with Joel. 

You hopped out his truck and walked to his front door ahead of him, making sure to keep a clear distance from the older male; no matter how hard your fingers were itching to explore his body. 

Joel held onto the small of your back as he quickly unlocked his front door and ushered you into the familiar space. 

“Upstairs. You know where my room is.” He stated bluntly as he removed his boots. 

You nodded without another word and silently went up the stairs; you may have been playing the confident card in the truck but now that you were here, now that you were in his house, your hands were shaking with nerves and anticipation. 

Joel entered the room a mere few seconds later and he smiled at you. 

“So you’re not that much of a little brat that you can follow basic instructions.” He cooed. 

You nodded, biting on your lip as you watched Joel effortlessly remove his t-shirt. Just as you pictured it; his chest was tanned and peppered with soft white hair. Further down his stomach as a groomed line of dark hair that disappeared under his waistband. 

“What’s the matter, little girl? Not so brave now?” He smirked, closing the distance between you to hold your chin roughly between his finger and thumb. 

He ducked his head down and kissed you roughly; it was an unceremonious clash of tongues as you kissed him back with intense fervour. 

“That’s what I thought.” He whispered against your lips and let go of your face. “Take off your clothes. Leave on your underwear, I wanna be the one to remove that from you.” He commanded, kicking off his own jeans and sitting on the edge of his bed. 

You suddenly felt self conscious, you could feel the burn of his gaze as you stood in front of him. You turned your back to him as you slowly undid the zip on your skirt and bent down to remove it. 

Behind you, Joel had pulled his cock from his boxers and was stroking himself as you removed your clothes. Once your shirt was removed, you span back round to face the male and gently crossed your legs as you watched him. 

“Fucking look at you.” He groaned, as his cock gently fucked into his fist. “Thought about your body so many times, knew I shouldn’t. Knew it was wrong but look at you, c’mhere.” He mumbled.

You felt your cheeks burn in embarrassment at his confession; it soothed your nerves as you realised the attraction was mutual between you both. Joel sat back a little and tapped his lap; you got the idea quickly and straddled him. 

You cock feel his swollen cock rub against your clothes heat and you whined weakly at the contact. 

“Please don’t tease me.” You whispered, looping your arms around his neck as Joel’s hands settled onto your soft hips. 

“‘M not gonna tease you…” he smirked, his eyes lit with mischievous intent. “But I bet you could cum just from rubbing yourself on my cock. Since you seemed to want it so bad at the bar, trying to get my attention. Well guess what, little girl, you got it. Now keep it.” He hummed. 

“Joel —“ you protested, to which he raised a brow at you in question. 

You pushed your hips forward so the tip of Joel’s cock nudged your damp panties, it nudged your clit and you gasp as you began to rut your hips back and forth. 

“Such a needy little girl, aren’t you? So needy for your daddy’s best friend that you’ll rub against his cock like a good little bitch.” He cooed, holding your cheek tenderly as his condescending words fuelled your hips to move faster. 

“Not enough.” You whimpered, your hands scratching at Joel’s back for more leverage. “Need you in me, please. I need to feel your fingers inside of me.”

Joel smirked and pressed two digits into your mouth without warning; you quickly sucked them in, your tongue swirled around them until they were coated with your saliva. 

“Is that what you mean, princess? My fingers are inside of you.”

You shook your head no as your hips moved desperately, the hot pink fabric of your lace thong was ruined; it was dark in colour as your arousal soaked the fabric. 

“Then what is it you mean? Tell me what you want.” Joel said quietly, removing his fingers from your mouth. A long ling of spittle keeping you connected to the older male. 

“Need your fingers in my pussy; need to feel them inside of me as I cum. P-please.” You whined, your voice sounded wrecked already as your hips stuttered against Joel’s cock. 

Joel dipped his fingers into the front of your lace panties, they were slick from your spit and they glided through your wetness with ease. 

He let out a moan as he felt your wetness soak his fingers further; his fingers circled around your clit with skill and your mouth fell agape with intense pleasure. 

You screwed your eyes shut as his fingers sped up to rub over your clit. 

“Oh that’s it, good girl. So wet for me, aren’t you? This all for me?” He hummed. 

You nodded, as your back arched away from the man so he could gain better access to your front. Joel continued to speed his fingers up; he watched your every movement; every heave of your chest, every gasp or twitch of your arm and he knew you were getting close. 

“Tell me when you’re going to cum.” Joel whispered, dropping his head down to kiss at your bra-clad chest. 

“I’m close, Joel. So fucking close.” You whimpered, you were barely making a noise. 

“That’s it, atta a girl.” Joel praised. 

“I — I’m gonna, I’m gonna, fuck!” You screeched, the raw noise ripping from your throat as Joel removed his fingers from your panties at precisely the wrong moment. 

He smirked at you, his mannerism teasing and cruel. 

“What the fuck?” You squeaked, your eyes wide and your chest still heaving. 

“Well I didn’t say you were going to cum, did I?” Joel stated. 

“Please.” You pleaded, your eyes searching for mercy in him. 

“Lay down on the bed for me.” Joel whispered, tapping your ass gently. 

You felt dumb, your body was tingling all over from the overstimulation and lack of orgasm and you moved without knowing how you were doing it. You laid down onto Joel’s bed, your back resting up against his pillows. 

It took everything in you to not turn your head into the soft pillows, breathe in his scent and fuck yourself right there. You felt like a horny teenager who couldn’t ever satisfy themself. 

Joel fully kicked off his boxers and knelt beside you, he motioned his finger in an upwards movement and you sat up for him. Quickly, he removed your bra and your chest gently fell from the hot pink fabric. He gently pushed you back onto the bed and then worked to remove your panties, they too were discarded with the rest of your clothes on the floor. 

“Now, where were we?” Joel smirked before he trailed his fingers back between your legs. 

Instinctively, you spread them for him as he worked over your clit again; within seconds, the pressure was there once again and you tightly gripped at the sheets below you. 

“Joel —“ you whined. “Please. Please, I am begging you, please let me cum.”

“Now where’s the fun in that, little girl?” He murmured menacingly. 

You closed your eyes and willed yourself to not burst into tears there and then; the pleasure you were feeling was intense, Joel’s fingers moved expertly to bring you close to your orgasm and then there was the humiliation of him denying you the thing you wanted most. 

Joel was watching you intensely, he was picking up on every little micro movement your body made or didn’t make, he was calculating when to stop his movements or when to speed them up. Bringing you right up to the edge, almost letting you peer over it but then pulling you right back again; never quite letting you topple into ecstasy. 

He had done this three or four times now and the noises that left your body no longer sounded like your own; they were wrecked sobs of desperation as your arousal coated your thighs and left a wet spot behind in your wake. You could barely remember your own name or where you were anymore; Joel had messed with your mind.

“Please.” You pleaded to Joel, looking up at him with wide eyes. “Please let me cum, I can’t — I can’t take anymore.” Your eyes were glassy with tears at the intensity of Joel’s actions and your own frustration as you experienced another ruined orgasm.

You knew if you really wanted this to stop, you could stand up, get dressed and walk away but you didn’t want that. Joel Miller had rotted your brain and you were fixated under him, completely at his will. 

Joel smirked at you again, that same look he kept giving you; it was smug, it was infuriating and it turned you on even more. 

“Look at you, princess. You’re a mess.” He whispered, his spare hand brushing a strand of hair away from your features. “So wet and messy for me, hm? Are you sure you can even cum now? Do you know what to do?”

You nodded eagerly at the older male, your eyes pleading silently as your mouth was hung open in constant pleasure. 

Joel didn’t say a word, instead he sunk two fingers into your hole without warning; his thumb circled your clit with intense pressure. It was like a million sparks erupted throughout your body; your back arched off the bed, your thighs fell open even further and your walls clenched around Joel tightly. 

You could feel yourself flutter and pulsate around the man’s digits as you came. Your eyes were screwed shut and your mouth was open, not a single sound fell from your parted lips apart from the start of a strangled moan. The pleasure, the pure ecstasy, was too intense for you to make a single sound. 

Joel pumped his fingers quickly, watching as you came on them. 

“That’s it, fuck. So good. Give me another one.” He growled, his arm shaking as he pumped his fingers even faster inside of you; his thumb pass over your clit with each thrust of his digits. 

You honestly didn’t know if you could give him another; your body was shaking as you laid there and took what Joel was giving to you. It was intense and never before had you had such a strong orgasm; there were still white flecks dancing around in your vision as your body built up to another orgasm. 

Your fingers were clawing at Joel’s arm and you were sure that you had broken his skin as you came on his fingers; there was no telling what would happen when he ripped another orgasm from you. 

“Be a good girl and then I’ll give you my cock, come on, princess. I know you can give me another one. I know you’re good enough for that.” He whispered. “Look at what you’re doing to me, baby girl. Look at my cock, it’s leaking for you. So good.”

You peered between your bodies and saw the head of Joel’s cock, it was flushed and there was a dribble of precum falling from the tip and collecting onto the sheets below. 

“Ki-kiss me.” You managed to squeak out, your voice shaking as you looked at the older male. 

He smiled and happily obliged, your lips met in a sloppy kiss as you felt your body shake more intensely. The tight coil in the pit of your stomach snapped once more and another intense orgasm rippled through you like a shockwave.

“Good. Good girl.” Joel praised against your lips as he worked you through your orgasm. 

He pulled his fingers from your hole and rubbed them speedily across your clit, you let out a yelp at the overstimulation and gripped Joel’s arm tightly for leverage. 

“I’m gonna —“ you managed to call out before he felt yourself gush onto the sheets below you. 

“Oh fuck.” Joel moaned, his cock jumping with arousal as you squirted onto his hand. 

“I’m so, fuck —“ you breathed shakily and held yourself up onto your elbows, tears staining your cheeks from the intense pleasure. “Joel, I’m so sorry. Fuck, let me clean up. Fuck.” You cursed, your body shaking as you went to sit up. 

Joel chuckled and gently pushed your shoulder back onto the bed with a shake of his head. 

“So sexy. Have you ever squirted before?” He asked, finally removing his hand from your throbbing pussy. 

You shook your head and he just grinned at you boyishly. 

“That’s even hotter, how did it feel, princess? Did you like it?” He asked softly, his fingers tracing soft patterns across your tummy. 

You blushed at his words and gently cleared your throat. “I did like it, I didn’t… well I didn’t know I could actually cum that hard. It was intense but amazing.” You said softly, looking up at Joel through your lashes. 

“I’m glad.” He smiled. “Look, we don’t have to — well, y’know, we don’t have to have sex. If you’re too stimulated or whatever. I can sort myself out.”

You quickly shook your head and pulled him closer to your naked body. 

“No!” You said quickly. “I mean, I am a little over stimulated right now but please, I need to feel your cock in me.”

Joel didn’t need to be told twice and he roughly flipped your body over so your face was against the bed. You gasped under the male, surprised by his strength. Behind yourself, you could feel Joel moving, positioning himself so his cock was nudging against your entrance. 

He thrust forward, filling you once again; you were all-consumed with just Joel. The heady scent of him lingered on the bellows below your face, you cunt ached with lingering pleasure of your orgasms and now, you could feel his large hands gripping your hips tightly as he fucked into you with fervour. 

“That’s it, sweet girl, taking me so well. So good.” Joel mewled, the praise sending heat through your body once more. 

Your fingers clung to the soft fabric of the sheets below you, and you couldn’t help the soft moans that escaped your lips as Joel fucked you. 

“So good. F-faster.” You whimpered. 

Joel obliged, he sped his hips up and dug his fingers into your hips so hard you felt as if you were going to have bruises there for days. 

Joel’s hips began to stutter, his groans grew deeper and you clenched around him, trying to bring him closer to filling you. 

“Such. A. Good. Little. Girl.” Joel groaned, each word accentuated by a deep thrust. “This is my cunt now, got it? Hm. All mine. Fuck, you’re so good for me.”

You nodded under him with a soft moan as he bottomed himself out in you, his cock impossibly deep as you felt it twitch before he coated your insides with his hot cum. You whined at the sensation and felt yourself flutter around his pulsing cock instinctively. 

“Shit.” He groaned, giving one final sloppy thrust before we collapsed down onto the bed beside you with his chest heaving deeply. 

You followed suit, your body finally giving out from under yourself; you grimaced as your body touched the soaked patch on the bed and you began to feel Joel leak from inside of you. 

“‘M a mess but so tired.” You yawned, scrunching your face in disgust. 

“Let me clean you up.” Joel whispered, stroking your cheek. 

He let out a grunt as he climbed off the bed, his limbs aching from the effort. He scooped your body from the mattress and carried you to the bathroom where he sat you in the bath. He turned the shower on and you hummed as the warm water hit your body, not caring your hair and makeup would be a mess. 

Joel climbed behind you and gently rubbed your shoulders as the warm water washed away the messes you both made. 

-

-

A/N: my requests are open again, I can’t promise I’ll always write them really quickly but please send me any ideas of stuff u wanna read <3 love u all <3

[halfling-myth-lady]

Okay,so hades two has just released and I want to talk about some things:

On one hand,no narrator Zagreus which was something I hoped would happen so :(

But on the other hand,NARRATOR HOMER CONFIRMED!

I already like Apollo.he’s fun.

Dora is so cute.

In the trailer I got “strict teacher vibes” from Hecate but it’s a pleasant surprise to see how soft she is with baby Mel.

Also the portrait with zag,hades,and Persephone…

(They better not be dead supergiants-)

HYPNOS WHO DID THIS TO YOU

But on the topic,I think it’ll be an Orpheus situation where the second(or even third) boss gives us an item like a divine water bucket or something that we can use to wake him up.

Oh look a reason to use the cast.

HERMES IS MISSING?SUPERGIANTS WTF DONT TELL ME THAN IS NEXT-

Okay,but I also think this could be something like in hades early access were they aluded to things that’ll be added later.

This adds up with the fact that in hades 1 Hermes was the penultimate god added and you can’t get him till asphodel(i think)

Either way he better be okay.

The character portraits range from “pretty good”to “yep this is gonna get touched up” but not in a bad way.just that the shading look kind of off

Also I already love Hephaestus and hestia.

They are hyping up hestia as a nice grandma that can go unhinged if needed and I am all for it.

As soon as I saw Odysseus I already knew It’d be hilarious if Poseidon was there and what do you know?

Speaking of,I wonder if all gods from hades 1 are gonna come back or a few are gonna get switched around.

If so then ares is probably getting shafted which makes me sad.

On that topic,Aphrodite wearing ares’ war makeup is great.

Seeing Selene made me wonder if Helios is gonna appear,but then I remembered Apollo.

But even then i still want other titans to be added like the air guys just so that we can have an Apollo/zephyr interaction if possible.(if you know you know.

If Hermes does appear in this game I wish he has duo’s with other gods.(and his own curse)

I also wish that since we see Artemis outside of the boon bubble we can have profesional associates interactions.

[deliciousnecks]

But can we talk about how powerful nandor is? like yeah, he might be a bit silly, and not in touch with the modern world, but if he wanted to, he could have already conquered whatever the fuck he wanted to. (he built an army, and jerry is still looking at maps over there).

like let's just start by pointing out that nandor didn't need to be a vampire to accomplish all these great things that he wanted in life. vampirism only made him more dangerous. nandor has always had too much power in his hands, that he tends to misuse, but that's actually a good thing for the people around him because if not, the truth is that they would be fucked.

He was born in a position of privilege, one that put him later on in his life in positions of power, he was a leader who did fucked up shit. As a vampire, he can hypnotize thousands, but even if he couldn't, nandor knows how to attract people to him when he puts his mind to it, as we were able to see, but guess what? he also has doing everyone around him doing whatever shit he wants, because rarely people can say no to him. What nandor wants, nandor gets (even the stupidest of things).

Now. Don't get me started with his pyrokinesis. The dude can create and manipulate fire. Like come on, you know all the batshit crazy things that he could be doing with that? people should be thankful that he's not going around acting in unhinged ways.

He's a formidable warrior, the fact that he live as long as he did as a human, through battles and wars, and the guy didn't get killed? i don't know, but I think that says a lot about his kills. he also can use a large variety of weapons, so now imagine. This guy who's the greatest warrior of his time, gets the strength and the speed that comes with vampirism. he becomes a fucking killing machine (not like he wasn't one already), but now he's unstoppable and on top of that, immortal!

As i said in the beginning of this post, time and time again nandor has been given power, too much power I should say. he even got those 52 wishes and the things my guy here could have accomplished with them? ridiculous! but he was feeling silly, so... he decided to have fun instead. Good for him.

Now, we now he conquered places and won wars, and while his years as a ruler were bloody, it seems like he did a lot of Al Quolanudar when it comes to territory. What I'm trying to say is that he's a good strategist, he's good, no he's the best at what he does. he excels in what he was trained and taught to do (and even the vampire community acknowledges this).

People always like to underestimate him (the fandom included. it's true.), say that in a battle he stands no chance. That X, Y, and Z are more could easily demolish him, that he can't do shit for himself, but like excuse me, he's the oldest vampire in that house, look at all the shit that he can do, so no. He's the strongest and most powerful piece in that chessboard, mam. Nandor could go on a killing spree and no one could stop him.

This latest season really brought forward this qualities of his that had always been there. Nandor can be competent, he can be assertive, he really just chooses not to, but if he did! well, we saw what can happen when he is.

nandor is powerful, skillful, and dangerous in more than one way, and yes! smart when he needs to be.

And i make this post, because some people have made him into this character that's just an idiot with 0 qualities, and those qualities that he does have, are always being diminished to make other characters look better (yes. to make guillermo look better. i said it, which is highly unnecessary because he can shine on his own).

It's not that he can't do shit, the fact is that he doesn't want to.

[theyanderespecialist]

Base Yandere Beetlejuice Headcanons: Yandere, Yandere, Yandere (Beetlejuice)

[Hello, My Sexy Muffins! I am back and this is the happy Halloween special! This one is from my dad's favorite movie Beetlejuice! One I loved from back in the day! So I got this request and decided to do it as a Beetlejuice special! I hope that you enjoy this!] 

(Disclaimer: Beetlejuice is not yandere in canon! This is just for fun and not to be taken seriously at all! Simping for fictional characters and yanderes is fine! Just do not be illegal or gross about it! You know who you are! You Dirty, Flaky, Biscuits! Yanderes are not ideal partners to have in real life! Also, remember to separate fiction from reality and headcanon from canon, thank you!) 

-Base Yandere Headcanons with Beetlejuice From The Original Beetlejuice Mainly-

.Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, what is there to say about Beetlejuice? He Is a charismatic, cynical, womanizing ghost. 

.This does carry over into how he treats you his darling. 

.First, let's get the obvious one out of the way. If you were AFAB and or Femme presenting he would Womanize the hell out of you. 

.He is very charismatic as a yandere, willing to flirt his way into your pants and your bed, and on any surface that he can get ya~ 

He is a very flirty Yandere who is always hitting on you and pawing at you. Regardless of your gender. 

.He would be very open about how he feels about you. 

.He can be considered an unhinged yandere, his used car salesman vibe leaking over to his yandere side.  .He is cheesy, over the top, and a bit of a scubby yandere. 

.But just like he is a stinky stanky looking man he has layers.

.He is the type of yandere that when he fell for you and he realized he fell for you, he stopped flirting and sexualizing women. 

.He would not disrespect you by being shameless with other people. 

.His whole focus and desire end up focused on you. 

.He is also not the type to lie, cheat, or scam you into anything. 

.He upholds his deals and expects others to do the same. 

.Once again, he is really upfront about his feelings for you. 

.He loves you with all his heart and he is honest about it from day one. 

.He would do his best to flirt with you and make you really love him, for him. 

.He is the type of yandere that would still try and get you to make a deal with him so he can marry you. 

.The man is over 600 years old as he was alive during the black plague. 

.So now that he loves you like he has loved no other he is not willing to let you go. 

.He may look legit slimy and perverted but he is one of the more respectful yanderes there is. 

.Yeah he hits on you and might smack your butt or squeeze it. 

.But when you ask for space or privacy he more so does give it to you. 

.He is the type of yandere that values you and wants to respect you which is rare for a yandere to be honest. 

.He is still a yandere and possessive as all heck, so he will end up haunting your house to make sure that no one gets to be a part of your life. 

.And eventually starts haunting you so he can be wherever you are! 

.He is a determined yandere and does not give up, not at all! You will be his spouse one day, mark his words! 

.Of course, he is also very much a protective type of yandere. 

.So he would keep you safe and fuck with anyone that tried to harm you. 

.And if someone did hurt you, that is when his yandere side really shows and he does hurt them really bad. 

.For the most part, he deals with rivals pretty much by pranking them and fucking with them. 

.But when they actually try and kiss you or have sex with you, that is when he really amps it up. 

.No fucking way is he going to let ANYONE touch his stunning darling in that way, you are his. 

.He is one of the few yanderes that are unlikely to kill his rivals, although it could still happen if he is pushed hard enough. 

.First, though he would try and make it so they left you alone. 

.Trying to make deals with them to leave you alone, and if that does not work he will start to torment them. 

.Doing his best to mess and fuck with them, while making their lives miserable. 

.He can be a real menace to his rivals, and he can be the jealous type and is the type that he would never ever share you, with anyone. 

.You are his and his alone, no one else is allowed to have you. 

.How he would confess to you is a grand event of his trying to show you just how much he loves you. 

.If you accept his love you can bet your sweet butt that is he going to ask you to marry him for real and for him to become your husband and you, his spouse. 

.If you did not accept he would laugh it off and play it off that he was joking and not serious and that you have to stop being stiff all the time. 

.Really he is hurt by your rejection and he has to think of some way to make you his and his alone. So he would do just that. 

.Make it so you have to make a deal with him and that he can have your hand in marriage! 

.He is the type of man who knows it is a low move, but he is a yandere and he loves you and cannot live without you. 

.So he makes sure that there is no way you can say no and that way you will be forced to be his spouse. 

.All in all, Beetlejuice is one of the better yanderes out there, and I fully support this message on that! 

.Here are a few bonus things, your house would be bug-free because he eats them all for you. 

.He would use really old and outdated and unpopular pet names for you, so much so that you become used to the strange pet names that he calls you. 

.He is also a very caring and supportive yandere that he would want you to live your dreams and would support you in all the ways he can. 

.And last bonus one, if you were married or dating someone before you met him, he would do everything in his power to break up your relationship. 

.Sorry his lovely darling but he is not going to let you being with someone before him get in the way of yours and his happily ever after! 

[YASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSss, another chapter is done! I hope you all enjoyed this, and stay sexy, all of my sexy muffins! And HAPPY HALLOWEEN!] 

[osarina]

so i have some yandere dazai thoughts…the thing i like the most about yandere is how versatile it is, so characters of all ranges can be bent to fit the criteria. personally i like to think that both pm and ada dazai would be both an obsessive and possessive, although lucid type of yandere. heavy on the possessive part when it comes to pm dazai. when it comes to beastzai he would definitely be a more delusional and protective yandere, though not disregarding his previous traits, and coupled with his already existing abandonment issues he would drive himself crazy thinking that reader would leave him or somehow get taken away from him. he’d definitely kidnap reader, perhaps build a secret room behind the wall in his penthouse where he keeps reader, only letting his most trusted subordinates know of her existence. personally when it comes to yandere stories i like the psychological horror approach rather than viewing it as a love story, so i don’t view reader as being willing or accepting of this behavior, even if they liked him or were friends with him at first. it’s more fun to me if reader is actively trying to resist such behavior yet dazai keeps pushing with the persistence and passion of a thousand burning suns.

i’m thinking about him in a pm reader au, since you said he was the old boss relative in your series…how despite him trying to distance himself from his father/grandfather and his terrible deeds, keeps manifesting his traits and unhinged nature. he sees his obsessiveness in himself, and that terrifies him. and that feeling only enhances by a thousand times when he meets and befriends reader. and how could he help it? he’s never had a proper friend before. never known anything but a cold and loveless life. so when the first bit of warmth appears in his life, how could he not latch on and desperately dig his claws in? he loves passionately, obsessively and overwhelmingly. his normally sharp, logical mind becomes clouded with a thick black fog and he feels as if a beast is clawing at his chest from within whenever the jealousy hits him for the dozenth time that day. he starts to resemble his (grand)father more and more by the day, starts seeing the man he despised every time he looks in the mirror, but each time, the hatred starts looking a bit more like something like sympathy, and he cannot help but begin to understand how the old man felt.

the logic that once was second nature to him now has become a foreign concept when it comes to reader. all rational thought is out of the window when it comes to her, and his obsession consumes him and his every waking thought. he cannot stand people touching her, has become very violent towards subordinates and other PM members regardless of who they are, chopping off fingers and hands, along with other extreme forms of punishment, if they so used that hand to touch her. he’s even shot several men on sight just for hitting on her. killing had never been something that he took delight in, but now? he thinks that nothing brings him as much satisfaction as eliminating trash who dared come into readers vicinity. how dare they try to touch something so holy, so pure and good, with their sullied hands? how dare they try to take away what’s rightfully his? he wants to pluck out their eyes for even looking at her, and if he has done so…well, nobody dares speak against the demon prodigy.

he also becomes very touchy with reader, always pressing himself close to her and having a hand on her in a possessive manner. a hand around he waist, around the shoulder, arms interlinked, fingers intertwined, an unexpected kiss on the cheek that was too close to the mouth to not be suspicious. pretending to fall asleep when cuddling on the couch or in bed, slinging an arm around her waist and holding her in a manner too intimate for just friends. reader is not stupid, she knows something is terribly wrong, that he’s being too pushy, not knowing the full truth about the maimings due to how he’s been covering it up, but he knows that sooner or later she will uncover it. meanwhile, he tries to take advantage of their friendship, guilt tripping reader whenever she does not reciprocate his gestures, trying to manipulate her into thinking that she’s imagining things if she calls him out on it. this intimate touch is a constant, both in public and in private, to a suffocating degree. he grows bolder by the day, as his love intensifies.

his feelings are like parasites crawling around under his skin. they consume him from the inside out, making his mind hazy and his chest hurt from the intensity of the yearning he feels. everything he feels is an extreme. his jealousy has made him see red and go on a maiming spree, his fear of losing reader has made him physically sick, his happiness has made him feel euphoria so intense it rivaled any substance he’s ever taken. it is so unlike the hollow, numb feeling he usually feels. he knows that he cannot lose this feeling, no matter what. reader is now his reason for living, he wants to constantly be close to her and her light. even if reader rivals him in reputation and has the same amount blood on her hands, in his eyes she is a saintly being who can do no wrong.

of course, his obsession with reader leads to a burning desire to know everything about her and be surrounded by her. he makes good use of his intelligence and the resources he has on hand, capturing pictures of all kinds of set up on the walls of his home. gone are the days of the shipping container, he got himself a proper apartment to be able to house reader in if it ever comes to kidnapping. but he hopes that that won’t be the case. he wants their love to be authentic, which is why he’s fighting so hard to keep everything he’s done under wraps. the entire apartment is a shrine for reader. clothes, items, her perfume to spray on his pillow, even items like underwear, all stolen and stashed away so that he’s never deprived of her. even something that reader would discard like a candy wrapper or old chapstick tube, would be secretly picked up by him and cherished. not only is he behaving creepily and obsessively towards her, but towards his shrine as well, talking to it as if it were her. he’s not delusional, he’s perfectly aware of what he’s doing, but it helps calm and soothe him. he doesn’t understand how reader is such an enigma that she manages to both soothe him in ways that no one has ever been able to do before, and at the same time rage up a burning storm of love and desire in his heart. dazai has never been a particularly religious person, but he knows that readers existence is the closest thing there is to heaven. he thinks that he doesn’t mind if he goes to hell when he dies, because he’s already experienced heaven through her.

his mind is clouded by love. he can barely eat or sleep. all he does in his waking moments is obsess and yearn. he thinks that his feeling are so overwhelming that he doesn’t know what to do with himself even if he had reader. he’s so scared that she will disappear on him, every day that goes by that he has to keep his feelings secret and be apart from her, his paranoia grows. of course, none of this behavior goes unnoticed by those around him. mori has noticed that he’s been majorly neglecting his duties and that even threatening his position or punishment was not enough to keep him in line anymore. he’s been blowing off his duties to go stalk reader, try to insert himself into readers life at every moment possible and steal her away, or “punishing” people, even civilians, for daring to even do as much as glance at reader, too much resembling his (grand)father who unreasonably unleashed his wrath on people just a few years prior, much to mori‘s dismay who had one day hoped for the young prodigy to take over his position. kouyou and hirotsu are incredibly worried, especially about reader more so than dazai, but there is nothing that they can do. even kouyou, a fellow executive with her own fair share of power and influence, is helpless to do anything as dazai continues to go on his rampage. oda and ango despair of him, for nothing they say manages to affect him, and they can’t do anything to stop the young man they knew and loved from withering away. most of all, chuuya and reader are the ones affected by his increasingly terrifying behavior. he no longer resembles the boy they once knew. although his behavior had always been like this to some degree from the moment he meet reader, the obsession and yandere tendencies blooming at first sight, it didn’t really rear it’s ugly head until the past few months. chuuya has grown to become immensely protective of reader, and is one of the only ones who isn’t afraid to stand up to dazai. he also feels guilt, for not noticing his partner being so unwell and thus in a way not being able to protect both of his best friends from danger. during dazai’s spiral into madness, she and chuuya turned to each other, growing closer than ever. dazai, however, feels his jealousy most intensely whenever chuuya is involved. he’s constantly reading into his interactions with reader, always paranoid that something romantic might be going on between them. his corrupted mind somehow spins a friendly pat on the shoulder into them being in a long term relationship with each other. this greatly affects his partnership with chuuya, what used to be childish teasing on his part having turned into real, burning hatred, to the point where the entire pm starts getting affected. and if he somehow finds out about chuuya and reader “training” with each other? he will blow up like he never has before, and his wrath will be felt in all of yokohama, not unlike a previous boss we know of…and god, when it comes to reader herself? well, despite dazai‘s attempts at manipulation and keeping his deeds undercover, reader is far from stupid and is quite intelligent herself. with dazai’s lovesickness clouding his mind, and his normally cold and calculated nature more prone to violent jealous outbursts, he’s been sloppy and left behind more than enough evidence. it doesn’t take too long to fit all the puzzle pieces together, and what she discovers chills her to her core. not only the fact that he did all of that for her, but that according to him it was in the name of “love”. knowing that she has the demon prodigy in the palm of her hand should bring her elation, but all she feels is cold dread. he’s too unpredictable, too irrational and obsessive. she almost wants to cry at seeing the boy she once loved reduced to a shell of himself.

once things truly start going out of hand and the pm is declining due to the issues dazai has caused, mori thinks that he needs to do immediate damage control. he decides to send reader, now an executive, abroad temporarily, to deal with pm business there. he wants to send chuuya with her as well, both for protection in case dazai wants to pull strings from afar but also to give dazai and chuuya some time to cool off from each other. this is what finally makes dazai snap. reader finds him that night, slumped over on the ground in mori’s office with all the lights off, covered in blood and eyes glazed over, knife in trembling hands. when she crouches down and cradles his face in her hands, repeatedly asking him what happened, all he does is grab her back just as intensely and look at her with lovesick eyes, saying that he did it all for them, for their future, for her. that nothing would separate them anymore. and that’s when she notices mori’s cold body on the ground.

despite dazai’s tendencies, the love he feels is very much real. his main objective has always been winning readers love and affections. he truly feels that he is nothing without her. his love is deep and all consuming, devouring everything in it’s path. his fear of abandonment that he so vehemently denies intensifies when coupled with his yandere tendencies and passionately love, all of this ending up a toxic and terrible mess. to him, everything is monochrome and reader is the sole light and color in the dull, meaningless world. he subconsciously began centering his life around her, his love for her becoming his main driving force and began influencing all of his decisions. he’s like an addict, a simple touch or smile giving him an euphoric high. doesn’t she see!? he’s nothing without her!!! he couldn’t help but latch onto reader, the first truly good thing in his miserable life, and become immensely possessive of her. desperate and needy, he’d sink his claws in and not let go no matter what. people have been put in the hospital wing for trying to steal her away, him not wanting to share her affections and attentions, immensely jealous whenever her focus wasn’t on him. despite his violent urges, they all wither away whenever it comes reader. he’d rather die than than hurt her, even the thought of her hurt or upset would feel like a dagger to his chest.

dazai is overall a lucid yandere, even if he in some aspects lean more into delusional territory, a trait inherited from his dear (grand)father. he does however not delude himself into thinking that his actions are acceptable or morally correct. yet he can’t bring himself to care. if it’s for the sake of love, he is able to go to any lengths, demolish any obstacle, sully his hands to the point they’d rot away from filth. his whole soul is hers. hers to keep, love, break. despite his domineering behavior, he genuinely just wants readers love and approval, and will crumble if he won’t receive it. it doesn’t matter if he’s chained her to his bed! surely she will begin to see the truth and realize that this is for the sake of true love! so the more delusional part of his mind would scream at him. even if he’s become an irredeemable monster, like the very man he swore to never become, he wants to believe that deep down in her heart she will one day understand and be able to love him back. she had loved him once, right? surely she would be able to again.

wow okay nonnie im going to pick this under the cut because want to show you all of my favorite parts but i need you to know that you have me INSANE like i think ur in my brain because this is JUST HOW I PICTURE YANZAI. like i literally wanted to sit here and hoard this in my inbox forever because i wanted easy access to it but then i felt back because i wanted to acknowledge what you sent<3

ok here take my favorite parts:

how despite him trying to distance himself from his father/grandfather and his terrible deeds, keeps manifesting his traits and unhinged nature. he sees his obsessiveness in himself, and that terrifies him. and that feeling only enhances by a thousand times when he meets and befriends reader. and how could he help it? he’s never had a proper friend before. never known anything but a cold and loveless life. so when the first bit of warmth appears in his life, how could he not latch on and desperately dig his claws in? he loves passionately, obsessively and overwhelmingly. his normally sharp, logical mind becomes clouded with a thick black fog and he feels as if a beast is clawing at his chest from within whenever the jealousy hits him for the dozenth time that day. he starts to resemble his (grand)father more and more by the day, starts seeing the man he despised every time he looks in the mirror, but each time, the hatred starts looking a bit more like something like sympathy, and he cannot help but begin to understand how the old man felt.

UGHHHHHHHH THIS PART IS INSANE YOU STARTED OFF SO STRONG LIKE THE CONFLICT HE FEELS WHEN HE REALIZES THAT HE'S STARTING TO MANIFEST ALL OF THE TRAITS THAT HE HATED IN HIS GRANDFATHER BUT NO MATTER HOW HARD HE TRIES HE CAN'T PUSH AWAY THE FEELINGS AND EVEN STARTS TO UNDERSTAND THE MAN. AND THE PART ABOUT HOW HE'S NEVER KNOWN ANYTHING BUT A COLD LOVELESS LIFE SO HOW CAN HE NOT LATCH ON AND DESPERATELY DIG HIS CLAWS IN. I'LL WEEP

the logic that once was second nature to him now has become a foreign concept when it comes to reader. all rational thought is out of the window when it comes to her, and his obsession consumes him and his every waking thought.

YESSSSSS AND HE HATES IT SO MUCH - HATES THE WAY HE'S SO IRRATIONAL WHEN IT COMES TO HER BUT JUST GETS SO VIOLENTLY ANGRY WHENEVER PEOPLE COME NEAR HER, SO ENTIRELY EUPHORIC WHENEVER SHE'S AROUND HIM, HE'S NEVER FELT EMOTIONS LIKE THIS BEFORE AND HE CAN'T COPE WITH THEM BUT HE'D PREFER ALL OF THIS TO THE EMPTINESS HE'S USED TO

he also becomes very touchy with reader, always pressing himself close to her and having a hand on her in a possessive manner. a hand around he waist, around the shoulder, arms interlinked, fingers intertwined, an unexpected kiss on the cheek that was too close to the mouth to not be suspicious. pretending to fall asleep when cuddling on the couch or in bed, slinging an arm around her waist and holding her in a manner too intimate for just friends.

THIS PART IS SOOOOO ... and then i imagine whenever he's not able to touch her, he gets so quickly irritable, the only thing that can soothe him anymore is her touch and if he can't have it, he's in an entirely foul mood.

his feelings are like parasites crawling around under his skin. they consume him from the inside out, making his mind hazy and his chest hurt from the intensity of the yearning he feels. everything he feels is an extreme. his jealousy has made him see red and go on a maiming spree, his fear of losing reader has made him physically sick, his happiness has made him feel euphoria so intense it rivaled any substance he’s ever taken. it is so unlike the hollow, numb feeling he usually feels. he knows that he cannot lose this feeling, no matter what. reader is now his reason for living, he wants to constantly be close to her and her light.

THIS WAS MY FAVORITE FUCKING PART UGHHHHHH EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS HAS ME INSANE THE WAY U DESCRIBE ALL OF THE EMOTIONS AS PARASITES WOW. THIS WAS SO BIG BRAIN OF YOU I'M ACTUALLY GOING TO ERUPT ... if i ever use this description in one of my fics i will credit u my dear yan nonnie this is just so fucking insane i will actually perish

he’s not delusional, he’s perfectly aware of what he’s doing, but it helps calm and soothe him. he doesn’t understand how reader is such an enigma that she manages to both soothe him in ways that no one has ever been able to do before, and at the same time rage up a burning storm of love and desire in his heart. dazai has never been a particularly religious person, but he knows that readers existence is the closest thing there is to heaven. he thinks that he doesn’t mind if he goes to hell when he dies, because he’s already experienced heaven through her.

ALSO THIS PART IS SO FUCKING GOOD. I LOVE THE IDEA OF HIM BEING PERFECTLY AWARE OF WHAT HE'S DOING BUT DOES IT ANYWAY BECAUSE IT MAKES HIM FEEL BETTER

his mind is clouded by love. he can barely eat or sleep. all he does in his waking moments is obsess and yearn. he thinks that his feeling are so overwhelming that he doesn’t know what to do with himself even if he had reader. he’s so scared that she will disappear on him, every day that goes by that he has to keep his feelings secret and be apart from her, his paranoia grows. too much resembling his (grand)father who unreasonably unleashed his wrath on people just a few years prior, much to mori‘s dismay who had one day hoped for the young prodigy to take over his position. kouyou and hirotsu are incredibly worried, especially about reader more so than dazai, but there is nothing that they can do. even kouyou, a fellow executive with her own fair share of power and influence, is helpless to do anything as dazai continues to go on his rampage. oda and ango despair of him, for nothing they say manages to affect him, and they can’t do anything to stop the young man they knew and loved from withering away.

THIS. EVERYONE HAVING WO WATCH HIM SPIRAL BUT NO ONE BEING ABLE TO DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT. NO ONE CAN HELP HIM, NO ONE CAN HELP HER, IT'S JUST LIKE A SLOW TICKING DISASTER THAT NO ONE CAN DO ANYTHING ABOUT. i especially loved the part about mori like the idea of him watching the boy he had so much hope for become just as bad, if not worse, as the very man he killed is so ...

most of all, chuuya and reader are the ones affected by his increasingly terrifying behavior. he no longer resembles the boy they once knew. although his behavior had always been like this to some degree from the moment he meet reader, the obsession and yandere tendencies blooming at first sight, it didn’t really rear it’s ugly head until the past few months. chuuya has grown to become immensely protective of reader, and is one of the only ones who isn’t afraid to stand up to dazai. he also feels guilt, for not noticing his partner being so unwell and thus in a way not being able to protect both of his best friends from danger. during dazai’s spiral into madness, she and chuuya turned to each other, growing closer than ever. dazai, however, feels his jealousy most intensely whenever chuuya is involved. he’s constantly reading into his interactions with reader, always paranoid that something romantic might be going on between them. his corrupted mind somehow spins a friendly pat on the shoulder into them being in a long term relationship with each other. this greatly affects his partnership with chuuya, what used to be childish teasing on his part having turned into real, burning hatred, to the point where the entire pm starts getting affected. and if he somehow finds out about chuuya and reader “training” with each other? he will blow up like he never has before, and his wrath will be felt in all of yokohama, not unlike a previous boss

I NEEDED TO GIVE THIS PART ITS OWN LITTLE SECTION BECAUSE WOWWWWW I WAS THINKING OF THIS THE WHOLE TIME READING BECAUSE I WAS LIKE WOW IF THIS YANZAI KNEW ABOUT READER AND CHUUYA IT WOULD ACTUALLY BE DISASTROUS. UGHHH AND THE FACT THAT THE WORSE DAZAI GETS ABOUT HER, THE MORE HER AND CHUUYA TURN TO EACH OTHER, WHICH IN TURN JUST MAKES DAZAI WORSE AND WORSE OFF IT'S SO AWFUL ILL WEEP

he decides to send reader, now an executive, abroad temporarily, to deal with pm business there. he wants to send chuuya with her as well, both for protection in case dazai wants to pull strings from afar but also to give dazai and chuuya some time to cool off from each other. this is what finally makes dazai snap. reader finds him that night, slumped over on the ground in mori’s office with all the lights off, covered in blood and eyes glazed over, knife in trembling hands. when she crouches down and cradles his face in her hands, repeatedly asking him what happened, all he does is grab her back just as intensely and look at her with lovesick eyes, saying that he did it all for them, for their future, for her. that nothing would separate them anymore. and that’s when she notices mori’s cold body on the ground.

NONNNIEEEEEEE THIS PART WAS INSANE IT HAD ME GASPING. MORI SENDING READER AWAY TO PROTECT HER FROM DAZAI, WANTING TO SEND CHUUYA W HER JUST IN CASE BUT DAZAI FINDING OUT AND KILLING HIM FOR IT ???? ughhhhhh and i imagine reader will always have that soft spart for the boy she used to know, so when she finds him in mori's office covered in blood and shaking, she rushes up to him, kneels next to him in the blood, cupping his cheeks asking him what's wrong, if he's okay, but as soon as he feels her touching him - willingly - and CARING for him, it's just too much for him and as soon as he looks up at her w those eyes she knows something is wrong and then she sees mori ...

the love he feels is very much real. his main objective has always been winning readers love and affections. he truly feels that he is nothing without her. his love is deep and all consuming, devouring everything in it’s path. his fear of abandonment that he so vehemently denies intensifies when coupled with his yandere tendencies and passionately love, all of this ending up a toxic and terrible mess. to him, everything is monochrome and reader is the sole light and color in the dull, meaningless world. he subconsciously began centering his life around her, his love for her becoming his main driving force and began influencing all of his decisions. he’s like an addict, a simple touch or smile giving him an euphoric high. doesn’t she see!? he’s nothing without her!!! he couldn’t help but latch onto reader, the first truly good thing in his miserable life, and become immensely possessive of her. desperate and needy, he’d sink his claws in and not let go no matter what. if it’s for the sake of love, he is able to go to any lengths, demolish any obstacle, sully his hands to the point they’d rot away from filth. his whole soul is hers. hers to keep, love, break. despite his domineering behavior, he genuinely just wants readers love and approval, and will crumble if he won’t receive it

GOD these whole two last paragraphs were just so good. especially that last sentence WOW you cooked so hard with this like i was so tempted to just hoard this for myself but i had to show you how much i appreciated it. this has ENTIRELYYYY altered my brain chemistry like you put into words everything i couldn't about yanzai and i'm just SO obsessed with it i don't think i'll ever stop thinking about this.

[sugarpasteltmnt]

You write unhinged Leo so well, and I really like how you write him. I was wondering if you had tips on unhinged characters 😂, or do you just get inspro from existing characters 👀

aksdakjsdh thank you so much ;w;

And honestly???? I’m not totally sure how to give tips— but I love, love, love unhinged characters in media, so I’ll use them as examples

(long rant below lol)

I’ve always been a big fan of silly, ‘crazy’ characters in animated movies and cartoons. I grew up on Batman the Animated Series and the original Teen Titans, which were full of silly, fun tragic characters.

Don’t get me wrong, i love a good edge-lord— but as a tot i thought the colorful, theatrical, insane bad guys were more fun to watch than the big scary serious ones (ESPECIALLY if they had a good villain song. A+ good shit)

(From left to right: Ratigan from Great Mouse Detective, Joker from Batman the Animated Series, Mumbo Jumbo from Teen Titans, Martin from Secret of Nimh 2, Bill Cypher from Gravity Falls, and Spinel from the Steven Universe movie)

And not just bad guys!! There are a ton of unhinged good/neutral characters that i absolutely adore.

(From left to right: King Bumi from ATLA, Clara from Welcome to Demon School Iruma-kun, and, of course, our silly 2018 turtle boys)

((There are many more characters in both categories, but I’ll slide these examples in here for now))

My personal brand of “Unhinged” or “Crazy” characters definitely leans on comedy. That’s what i enjoy seeing and reading! I personally like it because it can help keep a story fresh and interesting. There’s an element of surprise and unpredictability with what a character might do, and i love that!!

I also really enjoy a touch of feral behavior in my unhinged characters. The lack of clarity and the danger that imposes can be a very fun tool to use, no matter the character’s moral compass. (I’m feral for feral behavior lol)

And impulses. Whether a character has a few screws loose or is generally a goober, they like to act on impulses. This often goes hand-in-hand with comedy, and that’s something I enjoy!! We get a lot of moments like that in Rise, and that was one of my favorite parts of that TMNT iteration.

But as far as writing goes, it’s been tricky for me. All of the characters I grew up or love have been visual— trying to find a good balance for reading has been a puzzle I’ve been figuring out as I go.

I read a lot manga (lol nerd) and comics, and I love how thoughts/dialog are depicted. Especially the really dramatic or impactful moments. (I’d add examples but I’m already at the Tumblr image limit LAME)

As strange as it sounds, I try to capture that “impactful visual” style in my writing. If I had ANY advice on writing unhinged characters, pay attention to pacing—

Short. Fast. A calculating thought. Perhaps a run on sentence that lacks punctuation to represent the rushing and disorganized thought process. A question? An answer with little thought. Is this moment amusing; describe how. Is it upsetting; describe how. Are the thoughts starting to scatter? M aybe s o…

Big moment statement.

Action or plan of next big move. Flow should never seem too uniform. Even in normal writing. Don’t be afraid of accentuating— but don’t overdo it. Remember, unhinged characters are impulsive. Have fun with that.

Just as a quick and dirty summary— when it comes to unhinged characters, I like to use comedy, feral behavior, and acting on impulses. I also like to keep it as visually appealing as possible for characters to give the eyes a little treat after reading walls of text. I like to use fun text formatting to help with the fun too (But don’t overdo it! Don’t make it feel like a chore to read) (<- says the girl who goes into way too much details sometimes lmao whoops)

But ultimately— have FUN!!! Unhinged characters are fun, so make sure you have fun writing/drawing/creating them!!

[kamenstranger]

A review(?) of Dandadan

Starting these reviews off is always the hardest part, but it often comes to me after some time filling out the rest of the article. Dandadan has been stubborn in that regard, so much so I've been trying to figure out where to start with this series since it first came out.

I began reading DDD before tankōbon's were being printed, hell before it even made it to NA digitally (There were translations in Europe which got them early iirc.) Then batches starting coming out, and I still have those original single chapters from Sept. 5 '21

I became captivated, but, like its namesake, describing why I enjoy DDD is daunting in how esoteric it all is.

The general plot is straightforward on its own: Momo Ayase, the granddaughter of a spirit medium, though circumstance meets with an occult obsessed otaku, Ken Takakura, and, yes, he's named after exactly who you think, which drives the Takakura obsessed Momo nuts. She calls him Okarun, which I will also be doing for the rest of this.

Okarun's big obsession is UFOs and aliens, which he believes in, but not ghosts. You see where this is going. Hi-jinks ensue, both go to hot spots for each others interest and what do you know, Momo gets abducted by Aliens and Okarun is possessed by a geriatric genital biting speed demon.

Feel free to re-read that last part a few times.

Suffice to say, Dandadan gets fucking nuts almost as soon as the first chapter, but we're not even close to how off the rails this series gets.

I'll save you the details of how they deal with the Turbo Granny, but I will say the mythos and rules surrounding the various spirits, urban legends, cryptids and aliens is handled with a shocking amount of intricate care. If you're like me, you grew up surrounded by a plethora of Unsolved Mysteries, caught UFO Files as it was airing, maybe you even had some of those Forbidden World books laying around from the 80s before getting into stuff like Yokai. Even though I don't really engage with that sorta thing outside Weird NJ nowadays (It stops being fun when people in public office are into conspiracies-- particularly of the nazi variety like lizard men and flat earth)

The narrative and aesthetic appeal of them has stuck with me.

Anyone that's read my Kamen Rider reviews would know how much of a sucker I am for that quintessential cryptid look, which Dandadan has plenty of along with just being absurdly unhinged and hilarious.

The first two volumes do a fantastic job setting up the limitations and powers of spirits in particular, eventually resulting in part of Turbo Granny's soul being trapped in a Meneki Neko and leaving her speed abilities with Okarun. Unfortunately, Okarun only got 1/3 of his bits back.

So now have two super powered protagonists touched by the supernatural and the unearthly on the search for…missing nuts. Or I guess testicles that look like magic golden orbs of power. That's seriously how we're kicking this off.

And yes, there is a basis for that in mythology called Kintama. If you're familiar with Gintama you probably knew that.

But beyond that basic set up… where the fuck do I even go from there? The series is far more than OTT action and good monster lore, but it's also hard to delve into the how and why of its overall qualities. Sure The supernatural and sci-fi bits are fantastic, and the comedy is wonderful, but it's a by product of the real core of Dandadan: the interpersonal relationships of the characters. Surprise.

Which yeah, if it wasn't clear from the get go, DDD has a romantic angle between Okarun and Momo.

Under the monsters, dick jokes, and the completely unhinged nature of everyone and everything is an oddly captivating and flat out adorable love story between our two leads, one that slowly unfolds but is challenged by the various shake ups from monsters, invaders and cast additions that occur to hinder that development; or in some cases push it further by bringing the two closer.

Okarun in particular very well might be one of my favorite interpretations of the Otaku with a heart of gold. He's a legitimately sweet person, cares for people, he trains his ass off to earn mastery over his powers to make things easier on Momo and to keep up with the ever increasing threats they face. In a sea of otaku power fantasy characters, it's nice to be reminded that characters with limitations and weaknesses to be overcome or dealt with are still showing up.

He's also just a total sweetheart to Momo.

And it's pretty clear even early on that the feeling is mutual. Momo is easily flustered whenever a cute girl gets a little too chummy with Okarun, or strings him along. She even retaliates in some cases.

Momo is also about as dorky as Okarun (As seen above) just in different ways, which makes the two complement one another while also contrasting in how much of a hot head Momo can be.

For a series that gets as bonkers as DDD, Momo's grade A shit talking "too stubborn to admit her feelings" gruff Gyaru personality helps ground the series with a rather realistic portrayal of a girl her age-- albeit one with psychic abilities and goes through some extreme struggles much later in the series.

In fact one of the more overlooked aspects whenever I read about Dandadan is how surprisingly dark the chapters start to get in the 80s onward. Because despite the major kick off involving Okarun having his balls stolen, the series is capable of being very sardonic.

For all the absurd fun like giant enemy crabs or the Flatwoods monster as a Sumowrestler, and even a daikaiju way later, you also have things like human sacrifices and tragic ghost stories which are treated with a heavy tone that is never undermined by that off-kilter comedy. You even see tones of that with Turbo Granny of all things, involving the trapped spirits of butchered girls.

Don't misunderstand, however, the series is first and foremost a romcom with horror elements, but sometimes the horror shines through in surprising ways. That nuance is also seen in the rest of the cast, which I've yet to talk about much because one of the biggest challenges of this whole thing is figuring out how.

Talking about Dandadan beyond the very bare basics of the opening chapters is difficult without spoiling something, it's part why I was hesitant to review it back when I first started reading, despite how enamored I was. For one thing, focusing on any one aspect would be a gross oversimplification, doing a disservice to how each angle of the series is handled. Conversely, delving into Dandadan as whole would mean recapping the story arcs and events because Dandadan has some of the most tightly woven threads I have seen in some time. I can barely graze the surface of why character dynamics work or are unique before inevitably getting into a full blown synopsis and spoiling character arcs and entire narrative structures, which is… frustrating, to say the least.

For example, I can't really give you a good look at Aira Shiratori without getting deep into how she's a schoolmate of Momo and Okarun, gets into a rivalry with Momo because Aira thinks she's a demon while viewing herself as "The special one"; a delusion made stronger when she gains her own demonic powers which is basically Sedusa. But over time she forms a bizarre friendship with the two over their trial and tribulations, while also dealing with the massive weight of guilt over cruel rumors she spread about Momo. But that really doesn't even begin to tell you how much of an absolute fucking perfect little bitch she is, and yet what an enjoyable dork she becomes. To do so would be to just tell you everything that happens in her story, which, while not complicated, is tied heavily into the narrative.

It's a similar scenario with Jin "JiJi" Enjoji, Momo's first crush, which you can imagine the upset that causes; one that's pretty goddamn funny because the dude, while handsome, athletically fit and arguably the strongest of the entire cast, has the personality of a goddamn muppet. So Okarun's getting all strung up on a guy even more goofy than him.

In a nice subversion, his relationship with Okarun develops into something surprisingly positive pretty quickly, if not without complications due to a fairly dark story with his character, which pushes Okarun even further in his training after Jin gets his own possession. And it also makes it all the more hilarious that the chipper muppet baby has a secondary Shadow the Hedgehog cracked to 11 persona that's a legit threat.

Then there's Kinta "Kinny" Sakata who is basically if Okarun was even more socially inept and a dipshit Gunpla addict who tried really hard to be a Jojo. His strengths is a vast knowledge of sci-fi tech and a chuuni like ability to imagine entire fantastical constructs; quite handy when mind reading alien nano machines enter the picture. It also helps break up the monotony of everyone else having or developing some sorta supernatural power.

And then we have Vamola, a character I literally cannot say a single thing about without giving away massive plot points. I can't even show a photo because her design itself contains spoilers. Just know that her story is when shit really hits the fan and will be a gut wrenching read while also having the most Battle Manga goodness.

What I can at least tell you is that for as much as Momo and Okarun are the main protagonists, Jin and Aira get damn good focus and are fully formed characters in their own right, they're not just a monkey-wrench thrown into the fray. I mean, they are also that, but they add to those elements while being more than a foil to our main heroes developing relationship, making the story much more varied and expansive than a supernatural will/won't they. Vamola especially in that area.

If there's one takeaway from this it's that Yukinobu Tatsu is capable of creating a great, varied cast full of humor and impeccable chemistry. (not to mention a lot of cheescake that shouldn't work as often as it does.) I'm constantly surprised with how masterful all the different pieces come together to create a compelling dynamic in this deranged Sci-Fi, Supernatural comedy mishmash. Hopefully I can convey a little bit of that Dada-esque appeal despite my spoiler aversion.

What's a lot easier for me to get across without spoilers, however, is the drop-dead gorgeous artwork. Good god is this series beautiful to look at.

Tatsu has a backround in, uh, backgrounds, and it shows on just about every page. Any one side panel has more detail than most double-page fight spreads in other books, and when they do a splash page it is breathtaking.

The fact this is a Weekly series is goddamn insane and… honestly kinda makes me a lowkey worried about their work ethic. But a lot of panels feature just the character on simple stark backgrounds (And some pages feel a little heavy on the reference material, if you get my meaning.) But even so, it's hardly a sacrifice for the impressive amount of work that goes into each chapter and how just about every other page has at least one impressive environment to gawk at.

Not only is the detail impeccable, but the layout, timing and expressions are goddamn phenomenal and a big part of making the series legitimately funny. That same talent translates seamlessly to high energy fights and impactful creepy moments.

This truly is one of the most compelling reasons to read the manga. At the time of this writing we're 5 episodes in the Science Saru anime and I want to make clear I'm enjoying it and do highly suggest watching it. I think their high octane stylistic approach is, in many ways, perfect for the series. There's clearly a lot of love put into translating page to screen best they can. Realistically, I know there's no way you could completely capture Tatsu's style 1:1, especially with what the industry is nowadays. The budget and man power it would take for that wouldn't be worth it.

But that sense of scope, scale, the depth, shading and a ton of small eccentricities is something unique to the manga and a big part of why it works. If you only know the anime then I think you're missing out. Plus you've got 8 volumes to read up on.

But also still watch the anime, I'd love a season 2. Hopefully with a bigger budget. Frankly, they're gonna need it.

That said, while I have praised and gassed up Dandadan, I should mention it has a number of trappings that by all means should not fly with me. As previously stated, there's a lot of cheesecake, and I like cheesecake, but it can bog down stories like this and they're a dime a dozen in the manga and anime world. At first glance DDD can look like that from the outside. There are so many instances of things that are annoying in other works, schlocky things (derogatory) that are sell themselves only on the limp-dicked exploitive elements like Fan service. Make no mistake, Dandadan is schlocky (complimentary) but it's also incredibly endearing not only outside those aspects, but in them. At least for the most part. I have to imagine it's aware of the more stupid indulgent elements but wisely plays them straight while at the same time employing a cleverness many other series fail to have.

For example, the characters are comically stripped very frequently, even (and usually) during otherwise semi-serious moments like battles (although not if the stakes are dire.)

But the cheescake is always balanced out by the other qualities. Hell, the cheesecake is often imbued a certain charm that is funny in itself or oddly sweet, which certainly becomes more true in the later chapters. Think more Cutie Honey and less Highschool of the Dead in terms of how it's handled.

A big hand in that is they're not afraid to get silly with all the characters, especially the girls, so it typically feels more tee-hee fun. They're almost if not equally goofy in their own ways and that does a lot in keeping it from being obnoxious. And ya know, they also have real developed personalities and relationships outside just having their clothes blasted off, which also happens to Okarun if that wasn't clear. Actually it's worse because he usually loses everything, and the same is also true for Jin.

It's so audacious in every aspect that I simply can't fault it. I mean, I also wouldn't fault anyone not gelling with it, but I just sorta expect it and roll with it for a series this absurd. I'm a critic, not a goddamn puritan. I know exactly what it is, and it's doing it far better than most. It is, at worst, background noise.

That's not to say the series handles all of its exploitative elements well. Rather infamously the first chapter has an almost not quite sexual assault for Momo. It's… not as bad as it sounds-- in part because it doesn't happen and also the situation is so absurd. Honestly I think there's been a bit much blown out of proportion with it. Still, the over the top nature of an Alien with a metal syringe dick getting his comeuppance by having it bitten off by a granny speed-demon can only mitigate the general grossness of the implication so much and I still wince at it. It's the only part of Dandadan that dips into a level a cheapness it otherwise sidesteps in most other endeavors. Thankfully, it happens early on, but it also isn't a great first impression, especially if you didn't have more chapters or episodes to view at the time, leaving you to wonder just what the hell kinda story this is.

It's worth noting some of the other early chapters have bumps here and there, but nothing quite on the level of chapter 1, and those parts are ironed out overtime to be a lot more palatable. Compare how chapter 3 handles T&A to chapter 26 and you'll know what I mean.

Aside from that, however, there is at least one semi major stigma I have against Dadadan's otherwise enjoyable self indulgent nature, which is that a lot of the monster designs are painfully derivative. And I mean DERIVATIVE. Just about every alien creature in this series is an Ultra Kaiju.

Oh Shin Godzilla in the case of Nessie.

And, look, I get homaging stuff you like. Dr. Slump has loads of references, Patlabor has references to Ultraseven, depending on which version of Urusei Yatsura you're looking at it's loaded with them, Project A-KO has them, Eva is a love letter to Jissouji Ultra (along with flat out copying a few fights from various 70s mecha anime) and even something like Bocchi The Rock is at least a quarter references. References are not the problem. Well, maybe a little, but I'm not gonna get Orson Wells on you here.

Regardless, its hard not to think that maybe they could've dialed it back a little bit.

The Z'gok in Gundam is based on Alien Zarabe but it's doesn't look like a knock-off version of it. But the Dover Demon in Dandadan looks like "original the character" Kanegon that turns into Baltan. Because it is.

Like come on, man. Even the Space Pirates in Metroid aren't this blatant.

Why this sticks out to much is because the art is so damn impressive but the design aspect is lacking in certain areas. I'm willing to give leeway for some designs if they're based on folklore elements like Ghosts, Yokai, and crypids. You want to make them recognizable, but can still work in cute references or original ideas without being as glaring as "we have Ultra Seijin at home." For what it's worth, I guess Dada knockoffs with Pegassa eyes are better than generic greys. But while it's cute at first, I felt it got irksome by the time I saw Shin Godzilla… and then Hipporit as a subterranean shows up. Then a tail-less xenomorph. And Alien Guts, and a Metal Gear, and Elecking, even an Alien Zarabe.

A lot of those do end up as cannon fodder so I can understand not wanting to put a lot of work into stuff that ends up being one offs. I can't deny the art looks incredible and hype as fuck. But man, it gets distracting sometimes, especially when Gomora shows up at one point with the body of Red King and later on they end up making that a major deity in an alien culture. It's not played as a joke at all. It is one of the most dead serious chapters… But it's still just an Ultra Kaiju. Sometimes I'm reading Dandadan and I'm having a great time and I'm getting all the referential designs, and I don't *hate* this, but in the back of my head all I can think of is that line in Akibaranger.

And on some level I do get how that borderline level of infringement adds to the absurdity, how the near mono focus of a singular love for Tsuburaya is charming. Hell, it's even refreshing in some ways considering how that hasn't really been a thing in Japan since the 80s. But it does still get a bit much from the sheer volume.

I think on some level Tatsu knows this because in the more recent chapters the Serpo Aliens are primarily depicted in their disguised forms and the fake Gomora gets a slight redesign in later appearances that's a lot more generic. I sort of get the impression things that were maybe meant to be one off gags ended up becoming reoccurring elements, but given the tone and humor of the series that's really hard to tell, for better or worse.

Although kudos to Science Saru saying fuck it and making the opening to the anime one big Ultraman reference. They know what they're doing.

All that said... I don't really know where to lead off from here. Dandadan is still ongoing, currently at about 170 chapters in Japan, while the anime is still currently airing the first season. So I can't really give a full review of either. Likewise, for all I know the series could go completely off the rails at some point-- in a bad way, I mean.

As it stands I'm still finding enjoyment out of this series and now seems good a time as any to suggest everyone check it out. There's multiple manga out, it's easily available digitally, there's the anime across multiple platforms in NA, we've got figuarts coming out. It's good to see.

I was long over due for look since first reading those Glitter screen-grabs some years back.

Funny enough, this late August I visited my Girlfriend in Illinois and got to see 8 volumes of Dandadan on the shelf in a comic shop, that was a nice surreal experience for something that wasn't even available digitally in NA when I first started reading it.

What I didn't realize at the time was when I took a photo of them on the shelf, it was September 5, three years to the day I got the first few chapters. So yeah, it was time for this to happen.

Given the on going status of DDD, I'll certainly be revisiting the series for a future look at and proper review. Until then, I encourage you to read the manga and see if you see what I see. It might not be some super deep narrative, but it is most certainly unique and well worth your time.

As always, thanks for reading.

[theflyindutchwoman]

Wait, is she touching you? She's touching you, isn't she? Hey, you know what? If she offers you money for sex, I'm gonna win this bet. Look, I am down to do whatever you want. Yeah, you are.

| ANATOMY OF A SCENE - CHENFORD EDITION 4.07 - Fire Fight

What I love about this scene is how unassuming it appears to be : for all intents and purposes, this moment is meant to offset the more serious and dramatic part of the episode. Nothing else. And yet, it hides so many layers… One of them is how it actually gives us an aperçu of Tim and Lucy going undercover together at the end of the season. With the way they flirt here, it makes their practice kiss and all their display even more inevitable. And this is the perfect continuation of Lucy's last UC op, where she flirted with him to pass him the informations she had (and save his life). That their default mode while undercover is to flirt says everything… Those mission really gives them the cover and freedom they need to explore their feelings without revealing their hand. Having Tim go undercover, with Lucy as his handler, is also a perfect role reversal, where the student has become the master. He doesn't once question her expertise : he might protest but it's more out of habit than anything else. It's certainly never out of malice. Now add Tim's baggage when it comes to that line of work… And it brings out another layer. Interestingly though, this side is not explored. The aim here is to ease him into this, without triggering any bad memories the way Lucy's very first op did. This is a short stint, with no high stakes. And this explains why he doesn't protest much when Lucy suggests he goes undercover as Jake in the first place : the fun they have here might have played a part.

Lucy is definitely enjoying this way too much, instantly ragging on Tim's choice of clothes when he shows up at the rendezvous. They haven't even started yet and he looks done already. This is such a good reminder of their first dynamic : grumpy/sunshine. He just can't hide his smile, even in front of her, anymore - like when she recites the UC rules. The walls are down. Also, the fact that she had a jacket ready for him, clearly having expected this to happen, just shows how well she knows him.

But aside from all this fun, there's this undercurrent of tension that rises to the surface when Tim puts the jacket on… or when he lifts his shirt off, showing off his abs… The atmosphere here is so different than when she caught him wearing only a towel at Rachel's place. There is an awareness now that wasn't there yet. And it's even more intense with their close proximity. Or with Lucy having to touch him. It's just so intimate. The looks they exchange… It's electric. It's close to how it felt for a moment at Tim's place… Until he realises that she's placing the mic too high on his chest… Is it distraction? Is it on purpose? Either way, the way she rips off the tape, looking so smug, and his high-pitched scream are hilarious. Her sorry doesn't even sound sorry at all. #sorrynotsorry

And from there, it goes completely unhinged. Only these two would openly flirt and riling the other up while one of them is undercover. Now, to be fair, it started normally, with Lucy coaching Tim. But the second Aston began flirting with him, professionalism went out of the window. Then again, these are the same idiots who were making out 'for work', so maybe it is their definition of professionalism. Tim is trying to remain in-character but Lucy is having the time of her life, listening to their conversation. His smirk when Aston caresses his hand and Lucy comments on it, reminding him of their bet and how he might unwittingly help her win it if their mark keeps this up… They are so flirty here, openly, taking advantage of the situation… And that really lays the groundwork for Vegas. The fact that Lucy is basically whispering in his ear, that he can't see her, brings a certain level of intimacy… And while he is talking to Aston, his reactions are for Lucy. Like his big smile : sure, he is amused by their suspect's behavior, but I have a hard time believing that this isn't Lucy's comments that provoked it. There's such a double meaning to their dialogue… Like when he tells their suspect he is 'down to do whatever [she wants]', with Lucy instantly answering him with her iconic 'yeah you are'… She couldn't have said it in a more lusty tone.

This is all ambiguous, giving them plausible deniability. It allows them to act in a less than professional way, but without any repercussion. Almost as if they're testing the water. And it makes sense that Tim tries to take a step back after this mission, to reclaim some boundaries… Well, for a short while. All of this just comes back in full force when they have to go undercover as a couple… with no going back.

[blacklem0ns]

hand jumper fast pass spoilers episode 77

i LOVED this episode. it's always so fun to see sayeon from the perspective of the other characters, and iseul up until this point hasn't gotten a lot of attention so it was nice to see his feelings about sayeon more in depth (also more of sayeon just being absolutely unhinged). ik a lot of ppl think isuel is secretly a psycho like the rest of his cellmates and i can see where they're coming from (i haven't completely ruled out the possibility myself), but seeing taeho actively call out iseul's naivety makes me lean more towards iseul just simply being a bit ignorant about sayeon's true nature. it could be both of course but still.

i also wanna talk about taeho for a bit bc as much as can't his draco-looking ass, he's actually kinda starting to grow on me. let's be real, if we were in taeho's position, we would also assume the absolute worst of sayeon's intentions for going to the factory alone, knowing that she's willing to do morally dubious/reckless things to advance her cell. taeho both acknowledges sayeon's manipulative nature yet underestimates her at the same time. he calls her out in episode 60 for her scheming and tells her to stay away from cell 3, but doubts that she'd be able to hold her out against a member of the begonia group. unlike cell 4 and tsubaki and jungwoo, taeho hasn't been able to witness sayeon combat abilities. and the one time she tries to fight her head on, she's saved by min. i also think his status as a member of the gyeons plays into his frustration with sayeon as well. her writes her off as unassuming and weak yet here she is rising her and her cell above his. he has a reputation to uphold as a gyeon and she's essentially making a mockery of him.

lastly, i wanna touch on min's sudden change in behavior towards sayeon. to be blunt, min hasn't really done anything significant outside of episode 62 in regards to protecting sayeon (ryujin ironically doing a better job w/o even trying or really wanting to). seeing him get mad on her behalf as taeho trash talks her was surprising. but it begs the question of if he's doing this for samin or bc he himself is starting to respect sayeon and care for her. when they fight back in s1 he says that she's weak. and in the beginning of s2, he says he doesn't know what samin sees in her. all the members of the crimson society seem to be pretty protective of samin, so it wouldn't impossible that min's annoyance is an offshoot of his feelings towards samin (caring about what she cares about). i'd like this to mean that he's starting to care sayeon but we'll have to find out later.

[randomalistic]

Ok oh my god. OH MY GOD. I just saw treasure planet for the first time and It was fucking amazing. Like yeah Duh I KNOWWW i know it’s like. “underrated Disney movie bla bla it was a commercial failure” . You know the deal.

But if there is 1 thing I want to say:

I cannot emphasize enough how meaningful and touching it is to the audience when you allow your male main characters to cry, and hug, and be emotionally vulnerable without shame. That brought this film to a whole new level 🥺

its a beautiful movie that took so many creative risks and that’s so admirable. It’s so clear they had a vision and they crafted that vision with endless amounts of love :’] I DID CRY.

More rambling below

I was CONSISTENTLY delighted by how creative the characters were and incredibly entertained throughout. So fucking fun and engaging and it feels like a 2 hour movie so much happens. How is it only 1.5 hours.

I CRIED !!!!!!!!!! John Silver and Jim’s relationship was so COMPLEX like actually amazing. The father figure dynamic is so sweet and heartwarming and so heartbreaking simultaneously like I was not expecting that AMV montage in the middle like that shit cut me so deep it was outstanding. A montage about Jim’s troubled childhood with a neglectful absent father and then DIRECTLY PARALLELING THAT WITH HIS RELATIONSHIP WITH SILVER. LIKE HES FINALLY OVERCOMING THOSE FEELINGS AND LIVING HIS LIFE. GODDAMN!!! THATS SO POWERFUL!! THATS SO INCREDIBLE!!! THATS JUST IN THE MOVIE!!!!??!

Also the character/creature designs are RELENTLESS in how good they are. And they have so much fun with it. It’s so silly.

They had an old snapping turtle pirate???? hello?? He was introduced and then he died ❤️

The animation is also MIND BLOWINF like OH MY GOD!??? the seamless integration of 2D and 3D interacting is so impressive especially for 2001 like this was a technological feat for sure . Only rarely does the CG look dated (those whales at the start <\3 poor guys) BUT JOHN SILVER’S CYBORG ARM WAS FUCKING AMAZING LIKE I COUKD STARE AT THAT THING FOR HOURS .

Can’t find a gif of it but during his introduction there was a ROTATING SHOT of him cooking (❤️) while using his arm and his arm has so many tools inside it like a cyborg Swiss Army knife it’s the coolest fucking thing ever. Just Amazing

Also the fact they introduced an entirely new character 53 minutes in when the main cast has already been established was such a risk, but it so paid off. I love B.E.N. The fact he’s fully 3D animated and he’s THAT expressive. WHILE BEING A ROBOT? adorable. He’s Adorable. He’s so mentally ill and strange.

What is wrong with him. He is. dare I say. spamtonlike. pathetic and unhinged. Houses forbidden knowledge. What a Pitiful creature 🧡his glowing CRT eyes are really cute. There was a moment when the lights went out it was only his eyes and I Liked That

I love weird little robot guys in early-late 2000s movies. I need to watch Bluesky robots. I need my fix.

Morph could’ve been a really obnoxious comedic relief animal sidekick but they somehow managed to make him really cute and likable. (Also They only used him for plot points A LITTLE. Turning into anything couldve been overpowered as fuck. But alas… he is a mindless animal...) We love Morph. His relationship with silver is so fucking cute.

Kind of a Delbert centrist honestly. I liked him but also kinda dislike him. Bro kinda gives self centered misogynist scientist vibes. But he’s also silly and self conscious though guyssss.!! I thought I would like him more than I did. BUT He’s animated SO wonderfully though I love the shape of his hands and his weird goat face. Solid 7/10 weird guy. Idk why he came with Jim on the ship though❤️

Captain Amelia was fucking awesome for the first half of the movie. One of the best characters. Yeah. ……………. They fumbled her so hard. MAYBE ITS JUST ME BUT ME AND MY FRIEND WERE NOT A FAN OF HER AND DELBERT AT ALL. Disney was like. We have a competent woman character ! Competent woman has to get injured and then the incompetent man has to take care of her and then they HAVE to fall in love. It’s actually so tragic like they did NOT deserve her.

IN FACT HERE’S MY SCORCHING HOT TAKE: Delbert should’ve been the one to get injured and Amelia nurses him back to health. Delbert might apologize profusely because of his self confidence issues and cuz he internalizes things that go wrong as his fault. Amelia reassures him, realizing that she was too harsh on him earlier. Delbert becomes less intimidated by her because she opens up to him and they grow to trust one another. Amelia stays with him while Jim goes to hide. And whapow !!!! Same relationship is built up without disempowering a female character. It doesn’t even have to be romantic they can just be friends……. 🫶 cuz it comes off as weird because since the start Delbert was like “wtf the captain is a GIRL?? Wait ooh la laaa she’s pretty” and she had 0 interest in him. so like the ONLY way they could pair them together was to get her injured and have him care for her . And she falls in love with him out of nowhere. No. Being cared for does not mean you’ll fall in love with your caretaker. She’s so ace coded to me and my friend. Until SUDDENLY. Am I crazy

Ok so like yeah the forced heterosexual love interest moment. I did not want to see their FOUR (4) hybrid babies at the end. I’m losing my mind. also did Jim become a cop? I swear to fucking god LOL

The movie was SO good that disney didn’t know how to wrap it up without ruining it ❤️ WHICH IS VERY INTERESTING I think they had to compensate for all the risks they took with a safe and weird ending where the police like him now and the police are ok guys. Disney approved

Anyways watch/rewatch the movie right now. Skip the final minute <3

One of my new favorite movies goddamn!

Edit: I would’ve forgiven them if Delbert got pregnant instead

[streets-in-paradise]

Friday the 13 Th - Eddie Munson x (Fem) Henderson! Reader

Warnings: Friday the 13 Th franchise references.

Summary: Eddie has convinced you of making something big to bother Jason in the most fitting day for your inside joke about him.

Notes: Happy Friday the 13 th! Let's make fun of Jason lol

The school's cafeteria was a stage where Eddie loved to play being a dreaded artist annoying the well adjusted students with his unhinged dramatizations. He was an autentical court jester despite many loathed his performances. You may have been once too shy to get involved or even engage, but the spirit of companionship of Hellfire had slowly and consistently changed that.

As two lonely weirdos doing their best to not be noticed during most of your highschool experience, you have always been in a distant bubble with Jonnathan doing your own thing unless bullies would disrupt you. There was no one else at least untill he started to date Nancy and you befriended Eddie first, later also Steve. While you remained best friends, some of that crave to hide together in a little corner going unnoticed began to change and that was way more evident in you under the influence of Eddie.

For once at least, Jonnathan acceded to get involved for a small role in a carefully crafted espectacle you were planning because he got to appreciate the concept. Fellow horror geek, he found it simple yet quite effective. At very least you both would have a funny story to share with Will and Dustin.

Staged action took it's course as you approached him limping and pretending you were crying your heart out.

" Please, please! You have to help me!! " You begged him for the entire place to hear you, your ketchup soaked hands seeking to hold his clean ones . " … He is coming, he got my friends!!! He is gonna kill us! "

Pretending confussion wasn't that hard given your performance.

" What are you talking about?"

" The councelors were making love while that young boy drowned!!" You directly referenced the speech of Pamela Vorhees in a mashup with a victim character. " … Now we are all cursed. WE DESERVE TO BE PUNISHED!!!! "

When your agonical, prophetic scream gave him the sign Eddie emerged rushing like a maniac into the scene.

" FRIDAY THE 13 TH!!! IT'S FRIDAY THE 13 TH, PEOPLE!!" He began to scream to anyone in his way. " RUN FOR YOUR LIVES CAUSE JASON IS GONNA COME TO GET YOU!"

The joke was perfectly timed with the entrance of Jason Carver. Annoyance was the less concerning feeling it awakened on the target. When you once started it he could have never imagined it was going to stick with the full weirdo group and even escalate.

" Are you looking for trouble, freak?"

Enacting a reaction fitting for a horror movie, you got in between them shielding Eddie with your body.

" No, Eds! Don't sacrifice yourself for me!! "

Eddie turned dramatically to play pretend a heartfelt objection.

" I must do it. You are the final girl and i am just the disastrous but charming male lead following you into the woods just because i'm in love with you. " He followed your performance with a self awareness touch. " Go, my beloved. Save that stoner and remember me. "

You held his hands as if his life trully depended of listening to you.

" I won't let you go! I know how to defeat Jason, you just have to trust me. "

The basketball player was frankly weirded. Still angry, but his lack of contextual orientation to whatever you were thinking to be doing temporally overcame his desire to punch Eddie in the face.

He was accidentally incarnating one of the lapsus of confussion Jason Vorhees could sometimes had in the films before resuming the chase for his victims.

Perfect moment for you to iniciate the end of the third act taking off your jacket to reveal a striped sweater in matching colors with the Tigers.

" Look at me Jason!! Look! Come over here … " You began to call him in the sweetest tone. " Do you recognize this? You are in home, honey.. It's gonna be ok, I'll take care of you!"

Your friends were laughing uncontrolably and you realized that even a guy in the jock's table was holding his chuckles. Probably only just for the excessive female nudity of the franchise, but he must have watched the film your joke was referencing. Not missing the chance to expose it, you smiled at him and his amusement turned inmediately into disgust.

" Friday the 13 Th Part 2, just in case you want to rent it for the weekend. " You explained to Jason after abandoning the character. " My interpretation didn't stick completely to the source material, but I found this sweater in a thrift store and inmediately thought of you. Eddie insisted we had to save it for the next Friday the 13 Th. "

" Meaning that you got that cheap sweater in my team's colours and prepared a scene arround it just to annoy me. " Jason summarized out loud, clearly fed up with all the freaks. " At least i can say you took too many bothers to get my attention in this oddly specifical charade. "

" Bullshit! He is pissed off, only tries to hide it because he lost. " Eddie quickly corrected. " We made it, sweetheart!!"

You both hi fived each other and rushed in the opposite direction, but hubris made Eddie deliver one last comeback on the way.

" Happy Friday 13 Th, Carver !!!! Don't get in the lake!!! "

Despite he did enjoy the thrill, Jonnathan was giving you judgamental looks as you reached him.

" … If i get targeted again for this."

Eddie patted him on the shoulder cheerfully before reassuring him.

" Chill, man! His feud is against us, you are totally safe. "

" That was freaking awesome! " You followed the cheers. " Don't lie to me, I saw it in your eyes. You are as excited as me. "

You had a point and he couldn't deny it.

" Fine, it was quite fun … Not as satisfying as punching Steve, but still. "

Eddie clearly supported the posibility of finding someone to complain about Harrington with that you couldn't object to. Besides, he was a big fan of the referenced episode.

" I heard all about it, the freak that kicked his bully's ass and stole his girlfriend … I just want you to know that Hellfire considers you a hero. You will always be welcome among us. "

His most inmediate answer was an awkward smile.

" Thanks. I really appreciate it, but i would like to keep my girlfriend. "

They chuckled and Eddie's was the loudest.

" Good call, man! Good call. "

Something in the specifical way Eddie choose to congratulate Jonnathan made you feel uneased. Probably because you were just jealous imagining he could want to steal his bully's girlfriend too if he had the same chance.

" Eds, if we were in a horror movie. Do you really think we would be the romantically coded final girl and last kill boy sacrificing himself so she could make it to the final fight?" You asked him as you were walking thowards the Hellfire table. " I mean, I won't do well as a final girl. To be one you need more than just be the virgin ... "

The joke may have been themed as a different thing, but you were masquerading your will to figure out if that was the case.

" ... And most times they aren't unwanted freaks, they are normal cute girls just too shy to approach their crush or too nervous to let their boyfriends convince them of sleeping together. "

He wasn't sure of where the point was going, but didn't mind to indulge you.

" Realistically, I would be the guy who dies alone getting high in the woods. " He mocked himself. " but i do think you could be a final girl. Although a rare breed we don't often get blessed with, freak girls tend to be passionate horror fans. You know all the rules to survive, my prediction is that you would make it and at the end of the film Harrington would be asking you out. "

The answer deviated from the path you expected.

" I thought you would accuse Steve of being the asshole jock dying in the sex scene. "

" As a judge I'm cruel, but fair. That has to be Hargrove, Harrington has higher chances of making it if he sticks with you. "

That made you laugh for reasons he could never possibly understand. In real life, Steve was the resourcefull fighter.

" Would you believe me if I tell you that Steve is a final girl ? "

He was laughing harder then, untill your softly delivered conclussion stopped it.

" I would like to make it with you too … It would be a refreshing change for the slasher formula. "

Eddie wasn't sure of it, but for an instant he choose to treat himself imagining you said you wanted to be with him in a very freakish way.

" There is no way i could make it. Ríght now i can tell you I would die for you. "

[utilitycaster]

13 and/or 23 for the ask game

13. the core 3 Vanguard generals. Someone remarked how no one kept insisting that like, Vecna or the Briarwoods or Trent had a point - they had their fans, but they were either the cool kind of villain stans of the "hell yeah ruin everything and be evil! can't wait until you get murdered but it will be fun while it lasts!" or in a handful of cases, unhinged weirdos mad about unrelated shit, mostly re: Caleb's relationship choices, who decided Trent wasn't threatening enough. There were people who were very sympathetic to Lucien, but they were largely people who thought Molly was more present within him instead of, essentially, the bitch in his ear, so this reduces to Molly Blorbification and can be solved as such. But like, people are like "what if Ludinus is right?" and it's like. he's done a little too many "destructions of entire cities that were nothing but at minimum tolerant of him" for that. Moving on, Otohan has no personality, never did, and so if you treat her as anything but a dope-ass stat block in a leather bodysuit you've blorbified too much, and oh, let's talk Liliana. Because the thing is: I do think Liliana is extremely sympathetic. She is, in fact, the character my "a character can be sympathetic and wrong" post is about, though obviously it's much more widely applicable. But something that recently struck me is how many people who were filled with nothing but vitriol for Relvin after episode 48 have, despite no new information other than "Liliana thinks fondly of him", suddenly acted like this was a deeply touching moment from Imogen (which it is! but if you've been a dick about Relvin it's like ?????) and it's like...given that it was clear he still loved her from his appearance, it feels extremely blorbo-centric morality. Liliana skipped out on Imogen to join a cult, and I get why, but it was all "Imogen's trying to connect with her MOTHER" well a cool way for that to have happened is for her mother to have BEEN PHYSICALLY PRESENT. All of which is to say I think Liliana is redeemable, and she's slowly (pushed by Imogen the whole way) been moving in a heroic direction, but she's still done an immense amount of harm to her family and to the world, and it feels like a lot of people cannot wrap their heads around the possibility that you can be both a victim and also hurt others simultaneously.

23. I wouldn't say it was unwilling - you can't really make me do anything I don't want to in fandom, to be totally honest, because I am an adult confident in my opinions and intelligence - but Callow/moore is something I didn't expect to like and ended up greatly enjoying. The early shipping of it was like. there's some vague flirting but you're all kind of projecting the same generic manic pixie dream girl narrative people put on Jester's relationship with Caleb (and, to a lesser extent, Fjord). It also, to me at least, felt really pair the spares early on, and I still have several shippers of it blocked for being absolutely vile towards Chetney, like, genuinely saying shit "my wish list is that Ashton cockblocks Chetney this episode", like, not even Ashton and Fearne kissing, just Ashton spiting Chetney. (Said shippers are also, to be honest, some of the worst offenders of refusing to understand that Fearne is nonmonogamous). HOWEVER the canon ship is actually a lot of fun.

[nerdyvocals]

Hello again! To be honest, @look-at-those-niceass-rocks and I weren't originally sure if we were going to watch Rise of Red or not, but I saw some. Interesting things on tiktok, and we decided this would be a fun excuse to get tipsy on a Saturday night (we even made themed cocktails!), and that we would have a lot of unhinged things to say. Previously, we've also watched and kept a running commentary of the first three films and the Royal Wedding short film.

That said, I know opinions on this film have been very divided, and if you're looking for high praise, you will not find it here. The movie was cute, and we had fun, but we did not have a lot of compliments, and we're still messaging each other with criticisms a week later. If you're looking for two dumbasses who give tipsy critiques (please drink responsibly) about children's movies, please, proceed under the cut!

First, an honorable mention from a few days before the watch party: Bee (after we mentioned that we both, despite not originally planning on watching Rise of Red, had avoided spoilers just in case we changed our minds): Why do I care about spoilers for an unasked-for fourth movie in a franchise I only just became interested in?

Me (reading the description): Okay, so it looks like it's Back to the Future but Disney Bee: Great! Me: Was this needed? I feel like the trilogy wrapped things up nicely

Uma: This is Auradon, the kingdom where all your favorite fairytales are true. It was formed 30 years ago when- Me: PAUSE, okay so of the few things I've seen on tiktok,

Uma: Guess who they left in charge while they're gone? Me: That seems like a bad plan Bee: I was about to say

Me: So the biggest complaint I've seen so far has been about this, where Uma says that Auradon was founded 30 years ago Bee: Right Me: I've seen people call it a plot hole because in the first movie, Mal says the kingdom was founded 20 years ago, and I don't think they ever say exactly how much time passes between any of the movies, but the reality is, and I'm gonna touch your hand when I say this, Bee: *cackling* Me: The first movie came out in 2015. It is now 2024. The first movie came out almost 10 years ago, and in fact, when you add 10 to 20, ya get 30. Bee: *still wheezing* Me: Now, I don't know if the complaints are coming from new, younger fans who just recently binged the original trilogy in preparation for this and didn't realize when the first one came out, or if they're from older fans who have lost track of time and don't want to face the math- Bee: Fuck math, man!

(Continuing from the previous conversation, after discussing character ages and determining that Uma is likely between 26-28 at this point) Bee: That's too young to be headmaster, she's a baby Me: Bee, that's fairly close to 30, that's not unreasonable. I feel ya though, I'm not an adult, I'm a baby with a drinking permit. Bee: I think I've finally surpassed baby with a drinking permit, I'm more like. Adult, reluctantly

Fairy Godmother: The queen of Hearts refused to join Auradon when we united Me: Yeah, because you would've imprisoned her???

Blonde Wonderland Guard: *appears* Me: Lucius Malfoy??? Bee: Wig Me: Starkid's A Very Potter Sequel Lucius Malfoy???

Me: Does she (Red) have a nose ring??? Bee: Oh shit, she does! Me: We finally get some edginess to character design and it's when nose rings are no longer edgy

Honorable mention: Us spending Multiple Minutes trying to figure out if Maddox was supposed to be The Mad Hatter or the son of the Mad Hatter. We ended with no answers

(About Paolo!Charming) Bee: Oh, he has only gotten hotter Me: Correct! Why does he have blue in his hair Bee: Because he's hot

Me: Imagine being this in love still after raising Chad

Cindy: We wouldn't have been able to make this great family Bee: And Chad

Cindy: *presents Chloe with the Most Hideous Shoes I have Ever Seen* Me: *chugs what's left of my drink*

Cindy: We can visit Chad at college another time Me: Chad got into college??? Bee: Nepo baby

Bee: Does anyone in this movie understand "show don't tell?" Movie: *Insert Love Ain't It, aka Exposition: the Song* Me: Nope!

Cindy and the Queen of Hearts: *share a look* Me: Ex-lovers Red and Chloe: *share a look* Me: Future lovers?

Me: JABBERWOCKY MENTION! Bee: Drink!

Me: Is that supposed to be Jasmine and Aladdin? Bee: I think so? Me: Why does Jasmine have a fuck-ass bob? What is it with Descendants and fuck-ass bobs???

Me: I'm going to get so drunk over this Bee: I think that's safet Me: ...Safet???

Me: Where are Harry and Gil? Bee: On their honeymoon

(During the What's My Name? reprise) Bee: ...I need to take another drink Me: Same Bee: My drink is almost gone, I'm so sad Me: Do what I did, make another Bee: I will after this dork-ass song

Uma: Do you mind? Queen: I think I do Me: *pausing* Do you want to make a second drink real quick before things get cringier? Bee: ...I think that's a good idea

Me: I think I don't hate the silhouette of the Queen of Hearts' look, but it's way too monochromatic Bee: Drink! You're right though, there's no dimension

*Wand Breaks* Me: OH SHIT Bee: You could do that this whole time???

Cindy: Stop it, Bridget, you're better than this! Me: Is she? Bee: I don't think she is

Aladdin: Look at her, she's enjoying this! Me: Yeah, she's a teenager experiencing parental affection for the first time. Y'all really learned nothing, huh? Bee: You'd think after ten years they'd get their shit together

(As Cinderella is being led away) Bee: I love her poofs Me: God, me too, I love puff sleeves Bee: We are both just Anne Shirley

Fairy Godmother: *is young* Me. She looks so much like Jane Bee: For a second there, I thought that just straight up was Jane Me: Brilliant casting

Me: Why are their clothes so modern if this is supposed to be over thirty years ago

Me: This princess insult doesn't work if you're both princesses

Red and Chloe: *forehead touch* Me: Gay Bee: Kiss

(After Fight of Our Lives) Bee: I feel like this didn't need to be a song Me: We could've just had a homoerotic sword fight à la The Princess Bride

Me: Ahhh, that's why everyone is dressed so modern, so they can blend in without a costume change! That's so lazy!

Bee: He (Merlin) pulls a lit Molotov cocktail from his bag

(Alchemy Class) Bee: ...The hap is fuckening

Red: *eats a cupcake* Bee: These falsies are really gonna help me do alchemy!!!

Bridget: It's Jasmine and Aladdin! J&A: Call us Jaladdin! Me: I will not be doing that Bee: *choking* WHAT THE FUCK

Morgie: Son of Morgana! Me: See, Morgana has a kid already, but gee, why wouldn't Disney want children Googling Mordred? Bee: Hehehe

Uliana: TELL BRIDGET I WILL DESTROY HER Me: See, girl, she did warn you Bee: Why are Jaladdin going with?

Ella: Will you go to castlecoming with me? Me: OH Bee: GAY Me: So it wasn't a prank that turned her evil, it was that her girlfriend ditched her for a boy, Us, simultaneously: IT'S GIVING GOOD LUCK BABE

(In the Tremaine Manor) Me: Oooh, this kid is about to learn what parental abuse is

Bee: I need them to try and fix it and then have to go back again because they accidentally turn Cinderella evil Me: That's what the fifth movie is about, actually

Uliana's Hideout: *emerging from the water* Me: WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT Bee: "Can-I-Have-A-Cigarette" lookin' ass Me: *WHEEZE*

(During Perfect Revenge) Bee: Kenny Ortega, I'm sorry I didn't appreciate you when I had you

(It was at this point, when Uliana was hanging by her tentacles, that Bee's husband entered to check on us) [Husband]: ...What in the Doc Ock

Me: Ooooh, that last sip hit, I think I've made it to drunk Bee: Oh boy! Me: I'm so glad I don;t have to be anywhere tomorrow Bee: Drink some water Me: Water is for weaklings! Bee: I don't get hangovers anymore because I hydrate while I drink Me: I don't get hangovers because I'm 22 Bee: Suck my dick, Levi Me: I don't think [Husband] would appreciate that Bee: [HUSBAND], CAN LEVI SUCK MY DICK?! [Husband], distantly: I don't know how to respond to that??? Me: *falling off the couch crying laughing*

Bridget: *talking about her Shuffle of Love dance* Me: If not going on date, why worried about love, I am drunk Bee: No, you're correct

Bridget: If I was your mom, I'd love to have a daughter that thinks for herself Me: BOY WOW I WAS NOT EXPECTING TO GET HIT IN THE MOMMY ISSUES

Bee: Oh, pretty boy (Paolo!Charming) is back! Also I stood up and I too am now drunk

(After some line about valiant knights being always good) Me: Have you heard of Lancelot? Bee: I was about to say

(During the Hands Dirty sequence) Me: This is a song from a better movie Bee: Not again

Bee: I simply do not believe that Cinderella would let her daughter grow up that dumb as hell. I do, however, believe that Prince Charming would let his daughter grow up that dumb as hell Me: have you met Chad? Bee: That's fair, actually. Chad's adopted Me: Who's goddamn white baby is that? Bee: Who's goddamn white baby is that!

Me: Pause! So here, funnily enough, is a perfect example of what my mentor calls "Disney Patches:"

Bee: Drink! Me: So what they're trying to do here is show that Ella has to wear her clothes to the bone and patches them herself. When you add patches to garments to make them look like they've been repaired, you need to make sure the placement makes sense, as in think about where clothes would likely wear to holes: for pants, that's gonna be mainly knees and inner thigh. Disney has a habit of just putting patches wherever in places they just wouldn't be, like here. Why does she have patches in random places on her leg? Bee: Ohhh Me: In some cases in can be a stylistic choice, but I would argue that Ella wouldn't be the type to waste that much fabric for no reason. I can forgive the pockets though, I've had pants that got holes in the pockets, and sometimes it's easier to replace them than to patch

(A shot of Headmaster Merlin's Door) Bee: Hmmm, Merlin Me: ...Headmaster Merlin Bee: hmmmmmmmm, Merlin

Bee, completely deadpan: Hoot hoot, motherfuckers

Me: The Night Falls scene fell flat on its face so this scene could feebly crawl

Me: It has only just occurred to me that Chloe's shoes were supposed to be glass this whole time, I thought they were just fucky Doc Martens Bee: Yeah! Put the uh. The ug. Put the ugly in uggs Me: I think you need to drink more water Bee: I think you're right

Me: They're red and blue gays Bee: They're red and blue gays!

Me: Fuck whatever this movie is supposed to be about, I need them to kiss

Bee: Obsessed with his (Merlin's) coat, costume department popped the fuck off with that Me: That's my line Bee: Drink bitch!

Me: Wait, is that the end? Bee: It can't be, there's no way that worked Me: There's only ten minutes left???

Uma: You didn't think that was the end of the story, did you? Me: FUCK OFF

Bee: I am deadass on Reddit Me: *dying* Bee: Trying to figure out what the fuck

Bee: Where was the climax??? Was it supposed to be that thing in Merlin's office? Me: It can't have been Bee: If it was it fell so flat. I feel like I've sobered up watching that

[thebreakfastgenie]

Any other petpeaves for the mash fandom?

I feel like a good deal of my content is my various complaints about the mash fandom, but here are a few that come to mind:

Assumption of popular fanon People will assume that everyone is not only familiar with the popular fanon, they all agree with it. This creates a hostile environment for creativity and sharing different ideas but also for new fans who haven't even made up their minds because they don't even know about this stuff yet. This includes assumption of beejhawk but is very much not limited to that.

Spelling characters' names wrong We have google! You can just google it!

Calling MASH a dramedy It's a comedy.

Saying "what does this mean" about things that have clear meanings Sometimes the meanings are a little opaque to a modern audience, but not understanding a joke because it relies on dated cultural references isn't the same thing as the line being mysterious. This also applies to "they were insane for this" about very standard jokes and plot devices. The word you are looking for is "good." It's memorable because it was executed well, not because it was a wild choice.

Acting like characters' behavior is insane when it's literally normal I'm sure other fandoms do this too because insane and unhinged are trendy words right now but my experience with it is only in the MASH fandom. BJ isn't insane for remembering a childhood marbles rivalry. That's not even weird for a real person and it's completely unremarkable for a TV character.

Saying the show got more progressive in the later seasons/devaluing the early seasons generally The early seasons were more political and Frank Burns was a key part of the progressive message.

Making fun of boomers for missing the point The fandom is not any better, guys. Sorry to break it to you.

The time loop thing You can't just say the words "time loop." And no pointing to continuity errors or examples of the timeline being weird doesn't provide evidence for a time loop. A time loop is a specific thing, not any kind of timeline weirdness.

Making Peace on Us about BJ instead of Margaret :( He does very little, it's much more about Margaret and her relationship with Hawkeye. I wanted to complain about this in my other answer but didn't because that was a more positive post.

Analysis that relies on faulty assumptions This is an all-fandom problem but I run into this in the MASH fandom a lot where a whole meta depends on a statement about a character or storyline that's just incorrect and it's so annoying!

The way people talk about Maine 😡

The literal interpretation of "everyone loses something" in GFA That's an oversimplification and the more accurate version is "everyone is changed in some way."

Straight up fake stories circulating Hawkeye was never forbidden to touch men's underwear. Alan Alda was also never in Korea but that one isn't the fandom's fault, it's a wikipedia error.

Everything about the TVTropes page It's very slanted and full of straight up disinformation and people trust it because they don't understand that TVTropes isn't like wikipedia. Also, people think it means fanon is being validated by an outside source, but the TVTropes entry was written by mashblr people.

Thinking the Mud Hens were made up :( :(((((

Saying BJ has boobs That man is flat as a board. Stop lying. I have eyes.

[theyanderespecialist]

Base Yandere Mommy Long Legs: Mommy Knows Best (Poppy Playtime)

[Hello, My Sexy Muffins! I am back FINALLY With another update and this one is Mommy Long Legs from Poppy Playtime as a yandere! Good luck! I hope that you all enjoyed this update!]

(Disclaimer 1: This is Mommy Long Legs as SENTIENT Monster/Creature/Toy and NOT a child's soul!

Disclaimer 2: Mommy Longs Legs is not yandere in canon, this is just for fun and not to be taken seriously at all! Simping for fictional characters and yanderes is fine! Just do not be illegal or gross about it! Yanderes are not ideal partners to have in real life! Also, remember to separate fiction from reality and headcanon from canon.)

-Base Yandere Headcanons With Mommy Long Legs From Poppy Playtime-

.Mommy is very hostile to anyone at the playtime company.

.Except for you, you were the only staff member and adult she liked.

.She is very mothering of you.

.Always make sure that you eat enough food and drink enough water.

.So you easily get assigned to be her handler.

.She does not let ANY of the staff around you though.

.She despised any of the staff being near you, cause she was afraid that they would hurt you or that they would take you away.

.You were hers and she was not going to let you go.

.Since the creatures here had to stay in the playtime Village you liked to call it. Where the sentient toys lived.

.She had you live with her and she pretends everything is fine.

.That she and you were the perfect little couple.

.You ate the food that was provided for you and were very rarely allowed to leave the factory.

.Because Mommy has made it clear you were not allowed to leave her.

.Of course, once a week you were allowed to have a day out of the factory.

.Mommy hated that! Why would you want to leave her? Why would you want to be anywhere else? WHY WOULD YOU NOT LOVE HER?

.She became super clingy and would check you over for any kiss marks or hickeys on your skin!

.She did not want anyone else touching you, you belong to her.

.She is very close to being unhinged.

.She will also hover around you to make sure that you stay by her side.

.She is possessive and very much sees you as hers and hers alone.

.She is also very clingy, having to have you with her for almost 24 seven (Girl let listener poo alone!)

.Demanding, she is mommy so you have to do what she says, she is your future wife so you HAVE To do as she says.

.Mommy knows best after all.

.She would deal with rivals or who she thinks is a rival by attacking them and most likely killing them!

.If she can that is, and if she cannot be the one to kill them she might recruit Bunzo Bunny or the mini huggies to do it for her.

.If they fail? she will punish them for their failures.

.Speaking of which she will punish you if you were to cheat on her, or if you were to become close to any of the other sentient toys or the staff.

.She is all that you need.

.She has a huge ego, so when you stroke it she loves it and loves to be praised by you.

.It also lets her know that she is the one for you, that you are what she needs, and vice-versa.

.She would confess by cornering you and smiling at you, telling you that she loves you more than anything and that she would do anything to have you.

.If you tell her yes, she will be over the moon, and she will have you by her side for her always.

.If you tell her no she will go in a rage and drag you to a hiding place, you are hers and she will kill anyone who tries to save you!

[YASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS finally got this one done! I hope you all enjoyed and stay sexy all my sexy muffins!]